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A Quick Look: THE WAR IN SPACE (1977 - color)

   Here's an obscure one. THE WAR IN SPACE was Toho's STAR WARS cash-in, although the plot is sorta similar to the 60's film ATRAGON. Basically, the Martians start blowing up stuff and we're largely defenseless. One man has a blueprint for a super-duper space battleship/submarine, though, and he's recruited to build his machine and attack the invaders' home planet. Pop singer Yuko Asano puts in the most memorable bit when she's captured by the enemy and forced to wear a little black leather bathing suit. Somewhat counter-productively, she's shown almost exclusively in long shot when wearing this costume, even though it was shown heavily in advertising materials. Though entertaining, THE WAR IN SPACE isn't Toho's most exciting epic. In fact, even after a couple of viewings, I find I don't have many lasting memories of it. Still, I'm grateful to find the film was released on a nice disk from Tokyo Shock. If this one saw any screen action in the States I can't be sure, but there was a dub track for this Japanese adventure (actually, any Japanese film it was felt might play well in the States usually had a dub track commissioned by a Chinese outfit. These International dubs were pretty lousy, and most imports were re-dubbed by the pros at Titra Sound Studios. By the mid 70's, however, these Japanese films were being handled by much smaller distributors who stuck with the International dubs because it was cheaper. This film boasts only an International dub, so it's possible it played the States, although I can't confirm the fact).

Yuko Asano

Goodies from my pinup still collection

A Quick Look: IT'S HOT IN PARADISE/HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND (1960/64)

   In the first half of the 1950's, long-busy character actor Alex D'Arcy was becoming something of a heartthrob and was even getting memorable parts in major pictures like HOW TO MARRY A MILLIONAIRE. His brush with true stardom didn't hold, however, and Alex began the next decade by headlining this German horror vehicle about a plane load of beautiful dancers who crash at sea and become stranded on a mysterious island also housing a large spider of unknown origin. Gary (D'Arcy), their manager, wanders off one night and gets bitten by the spider. For some reason this transforms him into a half-human mutant spider beast that stalks the girls whenever one of them manages to break loose of the group. When a pair of studly research assistants come to the island, the monster stuff is all but forgotten until the final reel. In the meantime, it's basically one big party scene as the girls dress up in tropical duds and the two men come to blows over one's less-than-respectful attitude towards the girls. This one is weirdly structured to begin with, but is filled with additional bits of oddities (like the plane flying from LA to New York and then back to the Pacific on the way to Singapore, or the constant reference to a clip pistol as a "revolver"). More peep show than monster movie, it was originally imported to raincoat theaters as IT'S HOT IN PARADISE, making no mention in advertising of the monster! A few years later, it was re-issued as HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND and sold to kiddie matinees! This release of the film got a big publicity campaign that played up the horror aspects of the plot. The kids who came to see the film must've been confused, and even a little bored, by the large middle section which is basically nothing but a parade of scantily clad ladies. Of those ladies, the most notable bit of casting is German pinup girl Barbara Valentin in her first credited role (in fact, she gets second billing in the US version -as Barbara Valentine- and she wasn't overly famous State-side). A glamorous blonde of the Bardot/Diana Dors/Jayne Mansfield variety, Miss Valentin went onto a fairly hefty movie career in Europe. As for HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND, it was never sold to television. A pristine DVD release came via Something Weird Video in the late 90's. About that time, the film also became a subject on Mystery Science Theater 3000 in that show's final season. It was one of their better episodes, actually.
 

Barbara Valentin

A Quick Look: BATTLE BENEATH THE EARTH (1967 - color)

   Here's a movie I just love. BATTLE BENEATH THE EARTH told of the discovery of tunnels being dug under the United States by a rouge red Chinese army unit. Heroic Kerwin Matthews leads the counter-attack forces. MGM release was actually a British picture, though one that tried as hard as it could to come across as American in origin. Espionage, science fiction, pulp adventure all wrapped together into a delightful package filled with familiar faces. Ed Bishop has a nice showy role, which is always welcome. The score is just fantastic, the color beautiful, the whole affair is just fantastic fun -though it feels more like a TV movie than an actual theatrical affair. Probably for the comfort of the actors, the US soldiers wear helmet liners rather than actual helmets! Happily, the film has been issued in a gorgeous scope transfer on DVD, paired with the post-apocalyptic adventure THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR.

A Quick Look: THE CARPETBAGGERS (1964 - color)

   "It is possible for you to live an entire lifetime and not experience everything you see in THE CARPETBAGGERS!" So screamed the previews for this all-star adaptation of the Harold Robbins novel of the same name. Because it was a Robbins property, the film was strictly adults only stuff (when recently re-evaluated for a video release, the rating was adjusted to a mere PG). I saw the film because it boasts one of my all-time favorite main themes, a hard-charging, pulse-pounding epic jazz orchestral piece that sounds like the AIRPORT theme on steroids. Also in the film's favor was a simply amazing cast which included the likes of George Peppard, Bob Cummings, Arthur Franz, Martha Hyer, and on and on and on. Pictured directly below is Carroll Baker, who looks just smashing throughout, who plays an analog to Jean Harlow -a figure Baker would fully play in another biopic. Alan Ladd's last film, in which he plays the aging cowboy-turned-movie star Nevada Smith, the subject of a prequel starring Steve McQueen. Largely, though loosely, based on the life of Howard Hughes, the film tells the saga of tycoon industrialist Jonas Cord Jr., self-destructive genius who more or less conquers the world in a few short years. Stagey, explicit soap opera stuff, but still a pretty interesting picture. Makes for an interesting comparison piece to THE AVIATOR.

Baker

Hyer

Christmas cards

Christmas girls

A Quick Look: FIRST SPACESHIP ON VENUS (1962 - color)

    Soviet space operas proved popular with American distributors because they tended to be quite lavish since they were pride pieces for the State. Overlooking the starving masses communist countries exploited in the production of these films, this meant impressive visuals could be picked up for a song and be distributed by even the smallest American releasing company. East Germany produced one of the most lavish space operas ever seen, in part to celebrate it's first decade. In the 50's, a science fiction writer penned the book on which this gigantic film would be based. Reportedly, the author inserted some pro-commie text only to assure the book would be released by the State. It was this material which secured the book as the foundation for the movie, though such material was said to be toned way down for the film version. It was a massive production, boasting some of the most amazing sets and special effects ever afforded a science fiction movie of the vintage. An international cast was hired, photographed in rich color and wide scope. American distributor Crown international secured the film for US distribution (paired with VARAN, THE UNBELIEVABLE) in 1962. As you might imagine, our version is less political. The film's East German lead was changed to an American, and the film's Soviet scientist became French. As well, the mammoth runtime was reportedly whittled down to a more audience friendly 78 or so minutes. The result is a pretty spectacular and even imaginative multi-ethnic space opera boasting some of the wildest designs and concepts ever put on film effectively. In the film, set in 1986, a "spool" is discovered inside a rock. This is the magnetic log of a Venusian spacecraft which exploded over Russia about a hundred years previous -what we assumed to be a meteor in that infamous explosion. A collective of scientists urge their governments to jointly build a fantastic rocket which will send them to Venus to investigate, and we're off and running. The major star of the film is Japanese actress Yoko Tani. Her rather interesting career found her a rising star in international cinema but getting little attention in Japan. Ironically, after having her eyes fixed to appear less Oriental, she became a popular Japanese television star! FIRST SPACESHIP ON VENUS became one of Crown International's biggest hits, though it obviously suffered from being cropped for subsequent television and later video releases. In 1998, Wade Williams released a beautiful scope transfer on home video. It's worth seeking out.

Yoko Tani

A Quick Look: JOURNEY TO THE SEVENTH PLANET (1962-color)

   JOURNEY TO THE SEVENTH PLANET details, as the title might suggest, an expedition to the planet Uranus. Upon landing on the world of barren ice and snow, the crew suddenly discover themselves to be in a pristine woodland! What's more, fond memories begin taking shape as familiar locations, houses, and even people begin appearing! But, behind this paradise is a horrifying secret... One of Sid Pink's co-productions with Denmark, the film features much of the cast and crew of REPTILICUS. This time, however, they're all firing in right order. This one is delightful and perfect pulp space opera science fiction, starring John Agar and bombshell Gretta Thyssen (apparently as herself, despite this taking place some years in the future). Perhaps due to the international nature of the film's production, and/or the fact that this was made before the organization became such a scandalous farce, the space flight is a UN operation (though an operation firmly American in much of it's attitudes). The film underwent much editing before reaching it's final form, with major scenes shot and then removed (and reportedly destroyed). The original version featured some full-size monster props which AIP deemed too goofy-looking, so the final form of the film replaced much of this footage with some stop-motion creatures courtesy of Jim Danforth. Although it isn't perfect, the film still delivers. It's everything FIRE MAIDENS OF OUTER SPACE should have been, and even sports some beautiful postcard color to boot! Considered a sequel of sorts to THE ANGRY RED PLANET, though the connection is only behind the camera. By the way, this may be the only film in which Uranus is correctly pronounced. The enunciation actually sounds like "You're on us" which admittedly isn't much better than the more popular version.

A Quick Look: ONE MILLION B.C. (1940), and it's legacy

Prehistoric lovers of ONE MILLION B.C.

   The 1940 Hal Roach film ONE MILLION B.C. was a hit for more reasons than the most obvious one -which was dreamy Carole Landis in a fur skin cocktail dress! Actually, the film has a lot going for it. Ambitious prehistoric epic follows two tribes of cavemen and their eventual meeting when Victor Mature is expelled from his tribe and ends up living with the more civilized tribe Landis belongs to. Though they're more advanced, they lack Mature's rugged nature and he ends up teaching them as much as they do him. When a dinosaur attacks, both tribes are forced to join forces. Aside from a short prolog involving a college professor and his students on a field trip, the entire film is spoken only in the language of the cavemen -which fortunately is large on pantomime and short of speeches. Massive production had some incredible special effects, even if the producers took the cost-cutting direction of photo-enlarged lizards and other animals to represent the dinosaurs. This lizard footage was to turn up in literally countless B dinosaur movies for the next several decades, in films ranging from TWO LOST WORLDS to TEENAGE CAVEMAN to VALLEY OF THE DRAGONS. After a while, the footage became so familiar as to be comforting, always sure to show up like a favorite family member at Christmas time! There had been caveman pictures going back as far as movies go, really, but ONE MILLION B.C. was the first real dramatic attempt to be produced with major expense. Most previous exercises were B comedy shorts. Lon Chaney Jr is leader of Victor's tribe, and the role represents the one film role where Chaney did his own make-up using techniques picked up from Chaney Sr. His subsequent contract with Universal forced him to let studio technicians like Jack Pierce do all his makeup. One can't help but wonder how the careers of these men would've been helped or hurt if this hadn't been the case.

Danger from dinosaurs

Lon Chaney leads the tribe

Victor Mature nursed by Carole Landis

Carole Landis and Lon Chaney

Carole Landis, prehistoric dream girl

Prehistoric lovers in ONE MILLION YEARS B.C.

    Rather famously, England's Hammer Films produced a lush, color remake of ONE MILLION B.C. entitled ONE MILLION YEARS B.C. in 1966. The plot was roughly the same as the original. John Richardson is expelled from his rough and tumble tribe and is adopted into a more advanced tribe when Raquel Welch falls for him. Every now and then, a dinosaur pops up to cause trouble. Though the film's dinosaurs, marvels brought to life by Ray Harryhausen's brilliant stop motion effects, were truly spectacular, they were somewhat overshadowed by Miss Welch's iconic appearance as Luana The Fair One. A publicity still of Raquel in her fur bikini became a best-selling poster. As in the original version, the film's limited dialog is spoken in primitive cave-talk. As a tribute to the original, one of the remake's dinosaurs is played by a photo-enlarged lizard! ONE MILLION YEARS B.C. was a huge hit for Hammer, which experimented with other cave girl movies. The most immediate was PREHISTORIC WOMEN, though this wasn't as popular a film. 1970's WHEN DINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH fared a bit better, but Hammer finally killed the genre with the dinosaur-less CREATURES THE WORLD FORGOT.

Raquel Welch and John Richardson

WHEN DINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH, men would step aside

   WHEN DINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH was a quasi-sequel to Hammer's ONE MILLION YEARS B.C., although there was absolutely no narrative connection between the two. Theoretically, the film could be seen as taking place a generation or two later than the earlier film. Either way, the story concerns a beautiful blonde cavegirl played by Victoria Vetri. Vetri, because of her fair features and golden hair, is marked by her tribe for sacrifice. She flees at the last minute, and ends up finding love in a more advanced tribe operating a fishing community on the beach. But the other tribe still wants to sacrifice Vetri and try to capture her. Her boyfriend fears her dead, but she's been adopted by a motherly dinosaur after it finds her sleeping in the broken shell of one of her eggs! WHEN DINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH sports some of the best stop motion dinosaur action ever put on film, though again the real star is the bikinied leading lady. Vetri, formerly Angela Dorian, spends the picture prancing around in some of the tiniest coverings ever allowed in a G picture. In fact, she has a nude scene in the European version, which was accidentally released on DVD a few years back. When the mistake was noticed, the disk (a double feature set with MOON ZERO TWO) was pulled from distribution and quickly became a very expensive collector's item.

The scene trimmed for general audiences

Victoria Vetri

Formerly Angela Dorian

Prehistoric snack? CAVEMAN

   CAVEMAN was a lavish parody of old-time caveman movies, a sort of ONE MILLION B.C.-as-if-it-were-directed-by-Hal Needham sort of thing. Juvenile, though funny, humor masks a film that's actually fairly true to it's inspirations. Ringo Starr is the misfit weakling of his tribe, and thus often the foil for Chief John Matuzak(sp?). Ringo wants the Chief's girl, Barbara Bach, but his attempts to take her get him tossed out of the tribe and forced to fend for himself in the wild. He ends up becoming the leader of a tribe of misfits, while discovering such milestones as fire, music, and cooked food, and gaining the attention of cute cavegirl Shelley Long. The dinosaurs in this one are fine technical achievements, often imparting as much comedy as the human cast. The film really works, though. By the time Ringo must face his old Chief in battle, you genuinely feel for the characters. Not bad for what comes across as little more than a series of gags. Film became popular on television and home video. The early 80's was a good time for big comedies.

Ringo Starr and Barbara Bach

Dennis Quaid, Ringo Starr, and Shelley Long

John Metuzak (sp?) is the head man