The Oddball Film Report: A CHIPMUNK CHRISTMAS (1981-color)

A CHIPMUNK CHRISTMAS (1981 - color)

The Short Story - A misunderstanding makes Dave think that Alvin has no Christmas spirit.

The Details - One of my greatest delights of 2019 was my rediscovery of the Alvin And The Chipmunks franchise after finding a copy of THE CHIPMUNK ADVENTURE in a box of VHS tapes. I've previously written two pieces chronicling my rediscovery as I acquired the other animated Chipmunk movies and then as much of the series as I could get my hands on. Both pieces were minimally researched and focused more on my delight in finding the show all over again. Here, I'll try to do better by the series by discussing this Christmas special which marked the triumphant return of the Chipmunks to network television.

   It's fitting that the first leg of what might be called the second generation of Chipmunk episodes was centered around the Yuletide, as the Chipmunks originally took the public by storm via a Christmas song. Ross Bagdasarian Sr. was, among other things, a writer of novelty songs. He created a tizzy when he sped up recordings of his voice for the background vocals of "Witch Doctor" and created his first big hit since "Come On A My House" which had been written for Rosemary Clooney earlier in the 50's. "Witch Doctor" was a hit with everybody who heard it, and further experimentation with the sped-up vocals eventually materialized as The Chipmunks. "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas, Don't Be Late)" established the characters of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore as fun-loving chipmunks who were also the adopted sons of David Seville -a stage name Bagdasarian picked because his full name couldn't fit on a record label. Although record producers had no interest in releasing a Christmas song in November, the tune became a smash hit and the public fell in love with the Chipmunks. The group became a musical phenomenon and television was soon calling.

   The Chipmunks' first (?) television appearance was on Ed Sullivan's The Toast Of The Town, where the 'munks were played by hand puppets. The characters as we know them today became the stars of an animated television series early in the 60's. The Alvin Show was a prime-time series, but it's mixture of comedy and music made it a hit with audiences of all ages. The design of the characters now firmly established, more child-like than animal, they were seen on numerous products and records. With the passing of Bagdasarian Sr., it seemed like the Chipmunk craze had officially ended. Ross Bagdasarian Jr., wanting to honor his father, took efforts to keep the Chipmunks alive. He and his wife Janice Karman shopped the franchise around, but found no interest until a late-night disc jockey pulled a prank in the late 70's by playing a Blondie song at high speed and telling his presumably minimal audience that they were listening to a new recording from the Chipmunks.  This resulted in public interest in getting the new album which didn't exist! The demands for the album were so high, that the Bagdasarians were approached to produce a new record. They immediately did and the album "Chipmunk Punk" became a hot seller which placed Ross and Janice in a position to bring the Chipmunks back to television.

   In 1981 came our current subject, which stands as a sort of middle ground between the versions of the characters from The Alvin Show and the versions that would come to be considered the definitive take. The designs from the 60's were updated by Chuck Jones, given a more cuddly appearance (further streamlined by "Sandra" before the characters moved to Saturday morning the very next year). Of note, this was the first time Dave, Alvin, and Simon were voiced on television by Bagdasarian Jr, and his wife Janice voiced Theodore. A CHIPMUNK CHRISTMAS was a ratings bonanza and the series Alvin And The Chipmunks followed shortly. Some of the elements to A CHIPMUNK CHRISTMAS were re-tooled for the following series, so there are some items on display here which may seem unfamiliar, like the characters living in a completely different house and city from the familiar California locations which followed. The brothers are also a bit more loving toward each other, before later seasons found their differences lightly grating on one another. But, of course, it's Christmas time, so there'd naturally be a bit more good will on display.

   Alvin And The Chipmunks was a popular series, running several years and creating a new wave of merchandise. Two charming television specials were produced, which were later cycled back into regular series episodes. I LOVE THE CHIPMUNKS VALENTINE SPECIAL was followed by A CHIPMUNK REUNION -which cleared up some questions about the origin of the boys. The Bagdasarians branched onto the big screen via THE CHIPMUNK ADVENTURE in 1987. Sadly, the film failed at the box office and didn't find it's audience until it was issued on home video. Meanwhile, the production of the series moved from Ruby-Spears to DIC about this time and the name of the show was shortened to The Chipmunks. The Chipmunks were among numerous Saturday morning characters to take part in an anti-drug video special Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue. At some point, there was even a live-action TV special in which the boys were played by men in suits as they attended school! The 90's brought about the television/video special Rockin' Through The Decades, a comical quasi-documentary hosted by Will Smith. The regular series changed it's format to become The Chipmunks Go To The Movies, in which each week featured a parody of a popular film, starring the Chipmunks as actors. This variation of the series proved far less popular, as the tone varied wildly from week to week. It proved a short run, but the characters weren't out of the running yet.

   The mid 90's brought along a trio of new television specials. TRICK OR TREASON tackled halloween, while A CHIPMUNK CELEBRATION handled Thanksgiving (weirdly, the name of the holiday goes unspoken and unseen during the entire special, but I guess they trusted us to get it). THE EASTER CHIPMUNK followed. Late in the decade, Universal reissued A CHIPMUNK ADVENTURE on home video, and the sales must have been strong enough to prompt the studio to commission a pair of new features. ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS MEET FRANKENSTEIN hit home video in 1999, with the delightful ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS MEET THE WOLF-MAN! following at the turn of the century. Sadly, that proved to be the finish of this particular branch of the franchise. 

   Ross and Janice didn't stop, however. An obscure live-action video feature was produced in 2003 or so, called LITTLE ALVIN AND THE MINI-MUNKS. Reportedly released only in England, the film was an odd fantasy in which the Chipmunks and the Chipettes are played by Muppet-like puppets, and depicted as being a bit younger than they were in the cartoons. Of note, Ross and Janice star in the film, the only time Ross Bagdasarian Jr. played David Seville in live-action. 

   Far more visible was the big-budget 20th Century Fox live-action adaptation ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS. Turning the dial back to zero, the Chipmunks (now computer animation in a live-action world) were back to being talking/singing animals as they had been originally depicted on their record sleeves back in the early days with Ross Sr. This first film was entertaining, but lacked much of the charm of the 80's series. It was a hit, though, and sired ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE SQUEAKUEL. This one was a bit better, and again it was a hit. ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED was an absolute joy, capturing the charm and humor of the best moments of the Saturday morning series. There was a forth film, ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE ROAD CHIP, but it had the misfortune of opening opposite THE FORCE AWAKENS. That effectively ended that critically-despised-but-financially-successful film series and the property was moved back to the small screen with the currently-running computer-animated series ALVINNN!!! And The Chipmunks.

   Back before all that, though, before the boys moved to California, before the Chipettes, before the movies and various spin-offs, there was our current subject. Already, humor and music were mixed with charm and light drama to create something truly wonderful.

   I'm not sure if The Alvin Show ever established what city it was set in, but it often came across as taking place in California as the later Alvin And The Chipmunks and it's sequels did. Thus, A CHIPMUNK CHRISTMAS stands out in it's very first moments by establishing it's setting as New York. We first look in on a poor family of a widowed mother and her two children. Son Tommy has been ill, and is getting progressively worse. The boy is unlikely to survive until Christmas, only five days away. Tommy's illness is also a mystery, making treatment even more problematic. Tommy's sister Angela does what she can by reading stories to Tommy as he lay sick in bed.

   Here we establish a tone which would remain more or less constant in the episodes which followed. The Chipmunks live not in a traditional fantasy cartoon world, but in a world which mirrors very closely our own. Aside from the Chipmunks, and later the Chipettes, it's a world populated only by regular human beings* and subject to real physical laws. The Chipmunks themselves are somewhat more cartoon-like here than they would become, Alvin being able to propel himself like a jet by scrambling on his feet so quickly that he effectively takes flight a couple of times, but they remain essentially grounded in the real world. 

   (*In the third TV special, A CHIPMUNK REUNION, the boys set out to find their mother and we learn that animals become more civilized the farther away one gets from true civilization. Deep in the wilderness, some of the animals are depicted as being human in their motivations and able to speak, wear clothing, and live in houses formed from trees, as well as play music. The vast gulf between the civilizations explaining why they so seldom cross paths, this is somewhat more fanciful than the usual depiction of a reality very similar to our own, but within the limits of a world where we know there are talking, humanoid chipmunks. Several more humanoid chipmunks appear in A CHIPMUNK CELEBRATION, which shows at least some extended members of Alvin's family live and work in our civilized world. Meanwhile, the last TV special, THE EASTER CHIPMUNK, is set in a more traditional cartoon world where talking animals are far more a common element. It's such a departure from the rest of the franchise that it almost comes across like a dream sequence, in fact.)

   (Actually, I should mention that a couple other humanoid chipmunks do surface from time to time on the series. Very early in the run was introduced adult chipmunk Harry, a con-man who frequently got the boys involved in get-rich-quick schemes. At least once, Alvin ran across a look-a-like chipmunk in the wild and briefly switched places with him in order to get a rest from his fans.)

   Another thing that grounds this scene and allows the later humor to pop is the voice acting. Genre pros Frank Welker and June Foray voice the doctor and Mrs. Waterford, respectively. These familiar voices, well exercised and capable of tremendous pathos while exhibiting practiced brevity (the whole scene lasts only seconds), really put the scene in place in a professional manner which offers a certain comfort aided by the familiar design work of Chuck Jones. Really, it's the perfect way to kick off an animated Christmas special by serving up some familiarity which can transition into something fresh. Once we put everything in place, the show manages to break from our expectations while still delivering what we've tuned in to see. In a technical sense, it's just about the perfect animated Christmas special.

   Tommy's plight established, we move across town to the suburbs. There, the Chipmunks awake and decide to rouse Dave in time to do some Christmas shopping. In a fun little bit, the boys scramble through the house turning on all the lights, which has a ring of childhood reality to it. When we get our first good look at the Chipmunks, we see how they differ from the 60's versions but haven't quite morphed fully into the versions we know from the 80's. As noted, Jones' design for the boys is a bit more cuddly, with rounder cheeks and freckles. It's a nice middle ground between the two versions we know. Also, the relative size of the characters is moving in line with the 80's series which followed. Theodore is depicted as being shorter than Alvin, or at least roughly the same size. In the earlier show, Alvin was the shortest of the three.

   As an aside, regarding the height differences, the first episode of The Chipmunks Go To The Movies was a parody of BACK TO THE FUTURE which had the Chipmunks of the 90's going back in time to meet their 1950's counterparts as they had been seen on the 60's The Alvin Show. As the episode opens, Simon shows a picture of their previous selves which shows the same proportions as had been used on The Alvin Show. When the characters eventually meet, though, Theodore of the 50's is shown to be the smallest just as his 90's counterpart is. (I have to imagine that this particular episode was an absolute blast to make for Bagdasarian Jr., who no doubt delighted in paying tribute to his father by bringing his versions of the characters back to life.)

   As for Dave himself, he resembles a middle ground mixture of 60's Dave and the more streamlined Dave of the following series. He's stirred from his sleep and dressed by the boys before he has a chance to fully awake, which results in his shoes being worn on his hands and his jacket where his slacks should be. Dave is somewhat miffed at the boys, but in a loving way. He tries to explain that he's got everything under control, but his aggravation is soothed by the boys' singing. And truly, the Christmas songs sound great. There was even a soundtrack album for the special, which is good because most of the numbers we only get to hear in part here.

   Soon the boys are being marched to the recording studio, a condition Alvin is less than thrilled to accept, since it means working on their Christmas vacation. Dave notes Alvin's harmonica, and Alvin dashes back home to retrieve his beloved instrument. His Golden Echo harmonica is Alvin's most prized possession, and it's kept in it's own little bed in the boys' room. Back with the others, Alvin manages to talk Dave into getting things set up at the recording studio while the boys do a little window shopping.

   At a department store, Alvin proudly shows his harmonica it's "twin brother" being sold at a display. Here, he overhears Mrs. Waterford and Angela discussing how much Tommy wants a Golden Echo harmonica and what it would mean to him to have one. Unfortunately, Mrs. Waterford can't afford one, and notes how unlikely it is Tommy will make it through Christmas. Angela, kept in the dark on the seriousness of Tommy's condition, doesn't understand, but Alvin does. At the recording session, Alvin is off his cues and he asks Dave for a quick break. During this, Alvin rushes over to the Waterford apartment and tells Tommy that he's won a department store raffle and his prize is a Golden Echo harmonica. In a touching scene, Alvin selflessly hands over his most prized possession before returning to the studio to sing "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas, Don't Be Late)" as the audience was waiting for.

   That night, the boys trim the Christmas tree as Dave speaks on the telephone. Simon and Theodore are proud of Alvin for giving Tommy his beloved harmonica, but Alvin knows that he must replace the instrument as it was originally a gift from Dave. As soon as Christmas is over, he'll raise the money to buy a replacement from the department store. Then Dave comes into the room to let the boys know that they'll be playing the prestigious Carnegie Hall for a sold-out Christmas show. What's more, Alvin will be doing a harmonica solo! This means Alvin can't wait to buy a new harmonica and must come up with the money now.

   (This harmonica business, by the way, is in keeping with the original versions of the characters. The 1959 single "Alvin's Harmonica" displayed the titular chipmunk's love for his harmonica. The song was later used as a segment on The Alvin Show, and later was recreated for the previously mentioned episode of The Chipmunks Go To The Movies. Amusingly, the ending of that episode had 90's Alvin giving his harmonica to 50's Alvin and telling him it'll come in handy.) 

   Hearing the other kids in the neighborhood, and the barking dogs of their neighbor, the boys come up with a quick plan to charge quarters for kids to have their pictures taken with Santa Claus and his reindeer. Alvin dresses as Old Saint Nick while the dogs are dressed up as his reindeer. Since he's so small, Alvin doesn't let the kids sit on his lap but is instead lowered down to their laps on a rope looped over a tree branch. Dave overhears and investigates, but all is going fine until a little girl shows up with her cat. The dogs make a mad dash and Dave ends up covered in snow.

   Dave tries to point the boys in the right direction that Christmas is about giving rather than getting, not knowing why Alvin needs the money. Thinking Alvin is in the wrong, Dave sends the Chipmunks to bed. As Alvin tosses in his sleep, he has an odd dream sequence in which he visits Professor Clyde Crashcup. Crashcup was a character featured in back-up cartoons run on The Alvin Show, and was a well-meaning but mixed-up scientist who tried to help his fellow man by inventing things he needed -completely unaware that his inventions had already been around for a good while. Here, Clyde tries to invent the Christmas Spirit and then money (the perfect follow-up to his previous invention of the I.O.U.). 

   Dave goes up to the boys' room, but hears Alvin screaming in his sleep that he needs money and gives up on trying to teach Alvin the true meaning of the season. The next morning, Simon and Theodore give Alvin what little cash they can and he heads to the department store. Meanwhile, Mrs. Waterford telephones Dave to let him know how much Alvin's gift has helped Tommy pull through. Now having the whole picture, Dave takes Simon and Theodore and heads out to find Alvin.

   At the store, Alvin laments that he's still short the price of a Golden Echo harmonica. All seems lost until a kindly older lady approaches Alvin to tell him her ambition is to buy him his harmonica. Alvin is puzzled, then stunned, then delighted to be presented the harmonica he needs. The old lady wants no thanks, but would like to hear Alvin play the harmonica. Alvin plays a touching version of "Silent Night" to the delight of the crowd of shoppers. The old lady is gone when Dave catches up to Alvin and apologizes before taking the kids to Carnegie Hall, where a surprise will be waiting for them. There, Alvin does another rendition of "Silent Night" before going backstage and finding Tommy has made a full recovery. Alvin invites Tommy on stage to do a harmonica solo of his own. Back stage, Dave looks on alongside Mrs. Waterford and Angela. (A couple of these shots get placed out of order, resulting in Dave seen with his arms around the girls before cutting back a second later and showing him putting his arms around them.)

   As the Chipmunks sing "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" we cut to the sky above the city to find Santa Claus making the last of his rounds (and oddly, he's drawn with a rather stern face in this first shot). Flying home, Santa nestles into a chair to relax as he and Mrs. Claus discuss the notion of her getting out on some Christmas night herself. She's content to be a home body, but the camera reveals Mrs. Claus to be the sweet old lady who bought the harmonica for Alvin.

   As Christmas specials go, this one is pretty near perfect. Absolutely charming, sporting a fine sense of comic timing, and very fine on a technical level, one can see how it paved the way for a whole new era in Chipmunk history. It breaks somewhat from the traditional format, in which a kid like Charlie Brown or Davy Hansen must go searching to re-discover the meaning of Christmas, by instead having Alvin already doing the right thing and then having those around him not understand what he's done. In addition to spawning a hugely popular LP, the special was turned into a book in 1985, and of course it paved the way for what is fondly remembered as the greatest era of the Chipmunks.

   The regular series did a somewhat more traditional Christmas story with the episode "Merry Christmas, Mr. Carroll." This one finds Alvin in a far more selfish mood as he can think only about the gifts he'll be receiving. On his paper route is a hermit named Mr. Carroll, who unknown to Alvin looks forward to nothing so much as his daily newspaper. Christmas spirits in the shape of Dave, Simon, and Theodore open Alvin's eyes to the truth. A similar tactic was used for "It's A Wonderful Life, Dave" and the episode is included among the Christmas video releases despite it not actually involving the Christmas season. The live-action movies, meanwhile, were all released around the Christmas season, further tying the Chipmunks to the Most Wonderful Time of The Year. There have also been multiple album releases of Chipmunk Christmas songs.

   A CHIPMUNK CHRISTMAS has been released twice to VHS, once in 1989, and again in 1992. It has similarly been issued twice on DVD as part of Chipmunk Christmas collections. (In fact, the first Christmas collection was the very first DVD release of 80's series Chipmunk episodes. It was subsequently re-issued in a boxed-set with the Thanksgiving and halloween collections.) The more recent release, direct from Bagdasarian Productions as opposed to Paramount who distributed the earlier DVD releases, has a notation of the special being "fully restored" although I saw nothing different from the previous release. One of the releases was part of a special collector's pack which included a CD of Chipmunk Christmas songs.

   The special is really the Chipmunks at their best, despite the little aesthetic changes from what we're most familiar with. It's a warm and delightful episode, which gave birth to a most charming franchise.  A fine effort from all involved, and from now on a regular part of my Christmas viewing. 

   It's certainly a step up from last year's review subject, in which a child kidnapped Santa Claus with the help of a snide Christmas tree which spoke with the voice of Vanity Smurf...

A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!   

Oddball Film Report: a space opera double feature

Note: These reviews were originally written for Ken Begg's www.jabootu.net feature Video Cheese. They have been published here by his kind permission.

STARSHIP (1985 - color)
    "Lush but boring STAR WARS clone."

   When George Lucas unleashed STAR WARS, box office and merchandising history were made. Imitations were quick to follow, but few were as opulent or satisfying as BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, or BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS, or even STARCRASH. Most were ambitious, but rickety, imports (in fact, a 1965 Italian wonder with an oh-so-60's aesthetic was imported and slapped with the title STAR PILOT just because it had a space theme). Few matched the opulence of Lucas' marvel, and some skipped the space opera stuff for a more traditional (and usually more cost-effective) invasion-from-space plot. More detailed spaceship models than had been seen in previous years provided the aesthetic desired, as the Lucas aesthetic largely abandoned sleek spacecraft in favor of super-detailed workhorse vehicles. 

    So great was the thirst for such fare, though, that 1978-1981 saw a huge number of mock-STAR WARS epics doing their best to quench the movie-going public. This was a world-wide phenomenon, too, as dozens of space operas of varying quality arrived from Japan, Italy, and England. (In England, the success of STAR WARS even rubbed off on James Bond, and thus the 007 epic MOONRAKER jumped ahead of FOR YOUR EYES ONLY as the follow up to the successful THE SPY WHO LOVED ME.)

   So long as it involved space travel, or action set on some alien world, it was marketed directly at the monstrous audience that made STAR WARS such a bonanza. Infamously, Sandy Frank secured pop culture immortality by being one of the first to capitalize on Lucas' hit. He did this by importing a Japanese cartoon series about costumed spies and cutting in interplanetary exposition that turned it into Battle of the Planets! Frank would show the heroes take off from one country, cut in footage of deep space, and add a line about mirror planets across the universe, then show the G Force land in another, all-too-earth-like, country. Bingo, a space opera!

   Here, we discover a promising, but ultimately lackluster effort that won't take long to write about. Rather than huge space battles, we have instead a saga of refuges and rebels who attempt to thwart a plot to kill a planet of colonists/miners and replace them with robot soldiers who will be far more efficient at supplying minerals to whatever totalitarian regime is commanding this film's universe. The entire affair will be planet bound, with scenes either set in the desert wasteland above or the metal catacombs beneath, below being where everyone lives. This one looks better than most examples, but it had me sorely missing the sense of fun found in the much more entertaining SPACEHUNTER: ADVENTURES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE. Everything is relative, though, so STARSHIP is a veritable masterpiece compared to some of the same period's Italian space-junk that I've sat through. Here, stuff happens, and it's competently depicted, but with so little flash or substance that I found my mind wandering during the last reel. Ultimately, I found very little to talk about.

   The STAR WARS influence is everywhere, but the end result feels more like a MAD MAX/THE ROAD WARRIOR knock-off. A distant planet is mostly a huge dust-bowl save for the large colony established some generations ago. This is a mining colony, and not only has supply to the federation dropped off, but the colonists are beginning to revolt against the galactic empire, or whoever. Humanoid robots are dispatched to squash the rebellion, which turns out to be a bunch of protesters who likely couldn't do more than toss Molotov cocktails if they were actually forced to fight. That's not to say there isn't an actual rebel force in place, though, and the resistance movement will cause quite a bit of trouble before things are over. For instance, they plant an explosive on a re-built robot and then send the decoy to a repair center before detonating him.

   The characters are mostly echoes of the STAR WARS figures, only less optimistic. There's a young guy who joins the rebellion after the robots kill his mother while attempting to flee, there's a girl who's had to become a commando to survive, and there's Grid, a highly civil robot who manages to combine the traits of both C-3PO and R2-D2. He has a subdued English tone, as if said voice were being provided by Roddy McDowall doing an Anthony Daniels impression. Grid is a teacher droid who turns into a decent commando, but he's played by a midget, so he also has a child-like quality. 

   There's a bounty hunter, a solider droid who's anxious to take over the facility, and the heavy. He's a human soldier who claims a rather impressive former career, but is now disgusted to be an exterminator. His character could have been interesting if explored a little further, since he seems to have some moral qualms about killing other humans, but dares not defy his orders. It's not much, but makes for a fairly shaded character who COULD provide some interesting footage. Sadly, that doesn't happen here.

    Basically, the bad guys target the good characters and chase them all over the county. There's some hokum about hijacking one of the federation's heavy cargo ships, and a killer droid that looks just like Grid on the loose at one point, but honestly, this affair is so listless I didn't recall much after it was finished. It makes one realize that pace is often more important than production values.

   One area they sort of cheated for spectacle was a big set-piece involving a chase across the desert. Rather than build a facade for some future-y super vehicle, they instead just use one of those giant dump-trucks. The resultant fight scene that plays across this device looks less like something from a space opera than it does something from a spy epic. Unfortunately, this is the action highlight (and even that isn't very captivating), and there's still about 2/3's left to go.

   In the end, not a very memorable picture. Well made, but forgettable.

STAR CRYSTAL (1985 - color)
   "An intelligent creature is loose on a cargo ship about two years away from Earth."

   An ALIEN knock-off that plays better than it indicates it will, yet ultimately less than a masterpiece, STAR CRYSTAL has the credit of at least going in a different direction than we expect. 

   That's good, because first indications are of an ultra-cheap version of the same sort of ALIEN re-tread we've seen a dozen times before in late-night movie slots (although, I'm willing to grant that as awful as those films tend to be, at least they typically move much faster than their lethargic inspiration). How bad does this one look? Well, were it not from the 80's, you could easily be mistaken and think it had been commissioned for The Sci-Fi Channel. (Okay, it might not look THAT bad, since at least we're not subjected to giant cartoon snakes.)

   We start with the discovery of a strange object on Mars, out of which hatches a slimy monster and it's power source, the titular object. At this point, you'd think the show would depict the creature menacing the crew of the ship that find the crystal, but that's misdirection no. 1, as we soon pull into a space station where we're introduced to a handful of minor characters. 

   At this point, you'd think the creature was going to stalk the crew of this station, but welcome to misdirection no. 2! The station explodes and only five people manage to escape in the cargo ship that recently returned from Mars! I'm thinking they started filming the first plot, then had to change things when an actor dropped out or something. They then came up with the space station routine, and then had another something go wrong behind the camera. They finally settle into a main story, though, and we follow the survivors as they begin their long journey back to Earth.

   I gotta tell you, things look pretty bad at this point, quality-wise. The sets are cheap as you can imagine, and everything looks like it was made for a threadbare TV show. The acting is either terrible or bland, and it's shaping up to be another body-count-in-space vehicle. Fortunately, this is yet another misdirection. While the final film isn't great, it does manage to become (fairly) gripping in the second half. I'd avoid reading this, though, should you ever attempt to watch it, as I will provide spoilers. You have been warned.

   So we have what looks like a dry run for Red Dwarf. The only men aboard are technicians, not pilots. However, the first technician holds the highest rank, so he's the defacto captain. He's the white loser guy. His partner is a less-hip-than-he-thinks-he-is black guy who isn't too tore up about the long journey back to earth, since it'll give him a chance to make time with the three women on board. There's a crabby engineer, a serious and impatient doctor, and a cute blonde woman who's purpose I don't recall. She seems to've been included just to provide a gratuitous nude scene, but much to my surprise, the film avoids nudity completely! That's sort of odd for an ALIEN knock-off, isn't it?

   Also, despite this Losers In Space set-up, the film isn't a comedy. One can only imagine how painful -and even more obscure- the film would have been if they'd gone in that direction.

   The cargo ship has a few rooms at the bow and stern, but is mostly a maze of tunnels in the middle.  A diagram of these tunnels, showing crew location based on body heat, are displayed on a big computer screen, so the characters can see when one of their number are being closed in on by the creature, which is now up and around. The creature quickly dissolves the majority of the crew, leaving the Captain and the Doctor to lock themselves in the cockpit and wait out the creature. Now instead of getting boring, this is actually the part where it starts to become (comparatively) interesting.

   The slimy Martian proves to be intelligent and ever-learning. While waiting out the humans, it taps into the computer system and ultimately takes control of the ship. We see the creature at one point searching the information banks of the computer, and studying up on Christianity. This was a weird tilt-the-head-and-arch-the-eyebrows moment for me, as it had me wondering if this was going to be one of those rare instances of a monster who finds God. Or, more likely, was this going to be yet another dig at Christianity by some smug Hollywood writer? Oddly, it was more the former option that the film ultimately took!

   Desperate for food after days of being locked into the cockpit (don't you know THAT was an unpleasing smell!), the Captain decides he must make a break for the supply room through the barely adequate corridors of the ship where his friend was earlier horribly slain. He finds the creature, natch, but it doesn't kill him. Instead it communicates. 

   The creature, it argues, didn't kill the others in malice, but in self-defense. Thinking over the circumstances, the Captain accepts this and chats with the monster. The Doctor, meanwhile, worried about the only man she'll be in the company of for the next year, heads into the corridors. She attempts to attack the Martian, but she's stopped. The creature doesn't kill her either, having learned the value of human life. Besides, it needs them to help repair the ship. Conversing enough to see reason, the trio peacefully co-exist on the long flight to the supply station.

   During that time, the creature becomes a cute side-kick, both helping to repair the crippled ship and getting in the way like some lovable sheep dog. Like I said, a very unexpected turn for an ALIEN clone! In the end, the creature heads back to Mars, and the humans have peace.

   Okay, I'm sure you're wondering what the monster looks like. (After all, that's really the ultimate point of these things, right?) Well, it isn't the spooky, toothy menace promised by the poster art. No, it's more of a huge yellow slug-like affair with big red eyes and a small mouth. 

   Let's say you had this anime series about a sexy space adventuress who piloted a futuristic pirate star-ship. Now say she had a bubbly, somewhat scatter-brained but just as sexy sidekick, say her navigator. Now say SHE had a pet alien that cooed and chirped and didn't do much on the show but would irritate the pilot character because it was always sleeping in her underwear drawer. Now imagine that creature as being live-action, coated in gel, and the size of a wolf, and THAT's the monster.

   Nothing to write home about, but if you can get through the first half, a fairly novel approach to a well-exercised genre.

Oddball Film Report: MAGIC CHRISTMAS TREE (1964 - color)

MAGIC CHRISTMAS TREE (1964 - color)

The short story: "A kid learns some vague lesson with the help of a witch, a talking Christmas tree, a giant, and Santa Claus."

The Details:
    Oh, wow. I hardly know where to begin. As you can see, I've managed to unearth yet another crazy Christmas movie. Moreover, one of those weird Christmas movies which actually takes place on halloween!

   Kids' movies really seemed to come into their own during the 60's and 70's, if only because it was during this period that producers realized kiddie fare didn't require much in the way of production values. Earlier kiddie films usually strained for some sort of grandeur, being shot on sound stages meant to evoke fantasy worlds of castles, magical woodlands, candy palaces and the like. With the 60's, the trend seemed to move toward the more mundane. Real houses, streets, and parks became the ideal shooting locations, as now kids found fantastic events invading their familiar world, rather than being taken away to some fantasy land as has been the earlier premise. 

   In a sense, one can see this as a natural extension of fantasy films in general. Monster movies in particular during the 50's had greater impact by bringing their unearthly menaces into small American everytowns, whereas earlier decades saw horror usually strike in far off European locals. Kids raised on this 50's variation of monster movie probably didn't see anything strange about their more fanciful fare following a similar track. For the producers, both genres moved in this direction as a matter of budgetary concern. Kiddie flicks were known for having the most meager of budgets* anyway. The result is a bunch of movies about and for kids which seldom rise above the level of an ambitious home-made production their parents might've forced them into making for the other kids in the neighborhood. 

(* This condition remained more or less axiomatic until the 80's. Film techniques had been refined to a point that truly spectacular effects began to define fantasy cinema. Kiddie fare in the 80's tended toward massive sets and incredible effects, as in THE NEVER ENDING STORY and it's brethren. Ironically, most of the smaller scale, more intimate kiddie films produced afterward tended to be animated!)

   Of course, something producers of kiddie flicks often misunderstand is that kids don't require an identification figure their own age. If there's a knight in a fantasy play, the kids in the audience are more likely to identify with him than with his young apprentice or whatever that was added to actually provide an identification figure. An obvious example of this is Batman. His writers introduced Robin as an identification figure, seemingly unaware that the boys reading the title were already identifying with Batman just fine. It would benefit writers to look at the way children actually play. If they play soldier or cowboy or whatever, they're not pretending to be child soldiers or cowboys or whatever. The boy at play always imagines himself to be a man, because it's the grown man who actually gets to do stuff. I imagine this also applies to girls, given games like playing house or nurse involve pretending to be grownups as well.

   So it is with modern fantasy flicks. Though any protagonist would do, it was felt that a child should be the main star in an effort to appeal to the child audience. More often than not, this just comes across as an excuse to not try overly hard to make a good movie. "It's just for kids," they seem to be saying, "it doesn't have to be great because they won't care." Fortunately, the world at this time still had Walt Disney to show how it was done. The independent producer hoping to get some coin from the movie racket, though, saw the kiddie flick as the perfect means of making some returns on a minimal investment.

   Christmas, of course, appeals to children as the holiday seems to center on presenting them with gifts. One has to grow a little before fully understanding the gift of God's Son to take away the sins of a fallen humanity in an act of loving reconciliation with the ultimate parent. To the child, Christmas is mostly like an extra birthday, albeit one in which your siblings get presents also. Getting time off from school takes priority over such cosmic matters as eternal salvation and timeless love, at least for the first decade or so of one's life on Earth. I assume this isn't that unusual when it comes to childish thinking. I know I myself was a pretty self-centered child. Still, the season is associated with the material desires of kids in the eyes of advertisers and producers.

   The ultimate Christmas kiddie flick, of course, is SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS. More opulent, but less reserved, was the seasonal favorite SANTA CLAUS imported from Mexico by K. Gordon Murray. For the independent producer, though, MAGIC CHRISTMAS TREE offered up as much strangeness for a fraction of the cost.

   Following our credits, we open in black and white. I at first wondered if this print had to be pieced together from multiple sources, but this is instead a steal from THE WIZARD OF OZ. It also represents a stab at showmanship, I suppose, though the first few minutes look exactly like home movie footage that might've been shot a decade or two earlier. As you might expect from a movie called MAGIC CHRISTMAS TREE (not 'the' Magic Christmas Tree, either, it's just a generic one it seems), we open on a calendar alerting us to the fact that it's... halloween!

   A young boy named Mark chats with his friends concerning what they'll be doing that night. One young man will be attending a party with girls, a situation sneered at by the other boys, though not with the level of teasing that would arise in real life. Mark suggests a visit to the neighborhood's haunted house to get a peek at the resident Old Witch. Mark's friends go with him to the house, but take off as Mark enters the grounds. (The movie doesn't move anywhere near this fast, but the drawn-out scenes that pass slowly by us really don't lend themselves to overmuch comment. The film runs an hour, but you can describe it in detail and give the impression that it's only half that long.) 

   It's broad daylight, by the way, so don't get the idea that the witch-and-her-haunted-house sequence offers any spooky visuals. In fact, there's nothing particularly spooky about the house at all. It's occupant, however, is an ugly old hag with a pet tabby named Lucifer. Frankly, she doesn't seem to've done much to counter the rumors of her being a witch. Lucifer gets himself stuck up a tree and the Old Woman asks a spooked Mark to retrieve the cat. In doing so, Mark falls, hits his head, and wakes to find the world is now in COLOR. 

   This is explained as Mark now being able to see beauty rather than limiting monotone self-interest. There's actually a fairly intriguing concept there that a more skilled storyteller could work with... But this is MAGIC CHRISTMAS TREE, so just skip it. Oddly, the color photography does look slightly crisper than the rudimentary black and white footage. I'd applaud this if not for the fact that the movie opened with a long stretch of dull footage and all but a captive audience has probably already left the theater!

   The Old Woman is now dressed in the regalia of a storybook Old Witch, though she now comes across as far less sinister for some reason, and she thanks Mark for getting her cat down. She then rewards him with a magic ring containing a magic seed which will bring forth a magic tree when planted according to a specific set of magic instructions -the ultimate payoff of this being three magical wishes being magically granted by said magical tree. These instructions seem needlessly complex (apart from expanding the running time to feature length) and involve a wishbone from a Thanksgiving turkey planted with the seed, twirling of the ring, and confusing magic words the kid is supposed to remember a month later.

    It's during this scene, by the way, that the dreadfully amateurish nature of all this loses any charm it might've possessed. Now it's just painful, as scenes drag on and on and unnatural lines are spouted by non-actors (said lines evidently looped in in post without an iota more smoothness than they were spoken during the actual shooting). It's the sort of film that really makes you appreciate the craft of more capable hands. (Ironically, it also gives the film the vibe of art house fare supposedly created by cinematic geniuses.)

   Anyway, we zip forward to Thanksgiving. Mark begs his father for the turkey's wishbone. He almost doesn't get it, but Mom has already promised. Mark has a slightly older sister seated at the table, too. Though sibling rivalry could offer a means of eating up more running time, Sis has little interaction with Mark. In fact, I don't know why she's there at all. We'll see quite a bit of Mom and Dad, together and by themselves, but Sis just breezes through the background like a phantom. In fact, in this scene, we see nothing but the back of her head. Why include her in the first place? Was she the producer's daughter?

    During the night, Mark goes through the ritual explained to him and plants the seed in the back yard before spouting some magic words. A streak of lightning and clap of thunder send Mark scurrying back inside the house. The moment he's gone, however, a magical powder of some sort falls on the ground. Immediately, a fully-grown tree appears in the middle of the back yard.

   The next day, Dad is puzzled as to why the morning paper doesn't carry any news of last night's freak storm. Then he heads out to mow the back yard. For some reason, this sequence goes on and on (like much of the film does) as we see Dad start the mower and push the machine about the yard as Mark's pet turtle looks on! The payoff is when Dad crashes the mower head on into the tree, apparently with enough force to reduce the mower to a pile of smoking parts! The mysterious tree doesn't garner as much conversation as one might imagine. Dad sets about to remove the tree, which proves impervious to both a saw and an ax. Dad gives up and leaves the tree where it is. 

   Again, all this might generate a little more concern (or at least mention) than it does. After all, one can easily imagine a science fiction picture about killer vegetation opening with the discovery of an indestructible tree which wasn't there the night before. Presumably, such a picture would be a bit swifter in getting to it's destination, too. (In fact, there's a segment in the anthology horror film DR. TERROR'S HOUSE OF HORRORS which involves the mysterious appearance of a plant which proves difficult to destroy. Much like the tree in this film, that plant proves not only stubborn, but intelligent as well.)

   Come Christmas Eve and we learn Mark's family likes to put things off to the last minute. Only now, well into the night of Christmas Eve, are Dad, Mom, and Sis heading out to find a tree and do some gift shopping! Mark is left behind, but he's not as alone as he might think. The Tree suddenly starts talking to Mark! The Tree tells Mark to say his magic words and then the timber blinks out of existence! Or so it seems. It actually teleports into the living room and begins speaking with Mark there. Seeing the Tree magically adorn itself with tinsel, Mark expresses a desire to have such power. The Tree tells him to make an official wish, and Mark goes through the routine with the ring and magic words before requesting infinite power -for the space of but one hour!

   No more than Mark does with his supernatural abilities, we should be grateful he wanted them for only an hour. The most impressive thing he does is turn the night into day before wandering around the neighborhood seeing who he can mess with. As you might imagine, the night of Christmas Eve finds several people going about their routine duties like making deliveries and stocking up on supplies! Also of note, none of them seem the slightest bit disturbed by the sudden daylight pouring down upon them.  (Another thing is that this was obviously shot in the Summer. I know it's supposed to be California, but it just doesn't feel Christmas-y with all the greenery and convertibles and such...)

   Mark's idea of exercising his powers involves pointing at a delivery truck and making it drive off by itself, making it's hapless driver chase after it. Then he does the same thing to a squad car, causing a bunch of cops to give chase, followed by a growing number of business owners and pedestrians (who, again, are going about their business on the night of Christmas Eve in 1964)! Most oddly, Mark causes a minimal pie fight to break out between a pastry shop owner and his pretty blonde associate. For the next several minutes, the shop owner will chase her down the street, both of them refusing to wipe the pie off their faces...

   The self-moving automobile trick was too good not to use it again, I guess, because Mark climaxes his supernatural dominion of the town by causing the (weirdly antiquated) fire truck to likewise begin moving by itself. The firemen give chase and eventually climb aboard the moving vehicle in a manner likely meant to suggest the Keystone Kops, had their adventures been shot in such a manner as to indicate that all traffic laws were clearly obeyed during their madcap chases. Apparently, even Mark has limits and calls an end to the scene. 

   We return to the house (and regular night time) to see Mark's family pull up. They couldn't find a tree (big surprise, it's Christmas Eve and all), and Dad plans to take another swing at the indestructible Tree. It's no longer in the back yard, of course, and Dad steps into the living room. He's shocked to see the Tree there, and in full decoration. Assuming Mark (somehow) did it, Dad fakes like he helped plan the whole thing when Mom enters. (That probably sounds more humorous than the scene actually is.)

   Later that night, Mark suddenly becomes a lot more maniacal in his wishes. He suddenly asks the Tree to bring him Santa Claus as his own personal captive! Wow! Since Mark uses the magic words, Tree has to comply and Santa Claus suddenly finds himself trapped on a chair in Mark's living room. Mark dreams of all the neato stuff he can squeeze out of the Jolly One. Sometime later, Santa and the Tree are left alone. Santa asks where Mark has gotten off to.

   Somewhere in the wilderness, and back in broad daylight, Mark is hunting with his new BB gun. This, it would seem, is the limit of what he got out of Santa (though how he got it at all remains a mystery, as Santa's magic sack of toys isn't in evidence, only the man himself). At any rate, Mark wanders the woods without finding anything to shoot. When he stops to get a drink from a stream, he is approached by a Giant! Moreover, a giant who is evidently the personification of Greed. The Giant looks forward to making Mark his slave, but seems to be the sort to play fair in giving a kid plenty of chances to reverse his mistakes.

   Using the stream as a magic television screen of some sort, the Giant shows Mark a television broadcast showing the public reacting to Santa's disappearance. In tone, this is similar to the aftermath of Santa being kidnapped by Martians in the same year's SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS, and even features generous amounts of stock footage. Less military shots here, though, but we do see some jets. At any rate, Mark regrets his greed and begs to return to the house so as to undo his (rather stupid) wish. And indeed, once home, Mark wishes things to return to normal as they were the previous night. It would seem Santa was glued to that chair for nearly a full day! (I have to wonder what Mom and Dad did when they saw him...)

   The Tree returns everything to normal before blinking out of existence again. Mark wakes to find the world is still black and white and it's the moment just after he fell out of the tree on halloween afternoon. The old woman, grateful for Mark helping rescue her cat, goes into the house to give the boy some cookies and milk. Mark then looks across to the next hillside and expresses his shock. In a fairly neat camera move (truly saving the best for last), the camera zips across to see a stand of trees on color film. One of them is speaking, and tells Mark that magic is in us all, or something like that, as we finally fade out.

    What a weird movie. At only an hour, it's a bit easier to endure than SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY or THE CHRISTMAS MARTIAN, but it's still a challenge. One could joke that the film plays like Ed Wood's Christmas special, but the truth is it's actually more like watching a movie from Doris Wishman. It's static, unfunny, never charming, everything that a Christmas movie shouldn't be. The color is nice, for what that's worth. 

   Obviously, there isn't a whole lot of Christmas to be found in this particular Christmas movie. The Tree being a Christmas tree isn't really central to the plot, and the inclusion of Santa Claus doesn't seem overly indicative of the date on which the picture is set either. One nice touch is the bit where Mark begs Santa to forgive him, which of course Old Santa has already done. Nor do we get a scene of the family enjoying The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year being restored to it's proper state. A fleeting stock shot glimpse of city decorations is all the seasonal establishment we really get aside from seeing the tree itself covered in tinsel. Everything else here looks like Summer time, complete with green lawns and short sleeves.

   As a kiddie flick in general, this isn't exactly gangbusters stuff, either. Mark is a lump, for the most part. His change from bratty kid to greedy monster to reformed child is barely noticeable, as the actor seems to just be going through the motions. He doesn't seem particularly poorly mannered, and his sudden desire to own Saint Nick seems completely unmotivated. The whole idea of his becoming a potential slave to Greed comes and goes with nary a ripple, aside from the idea coming out of nowhere as it does. And of course, since the bulk of the film is but a dream sequence, the film is actually set entirely on halloween!

   In the end, one can see why the film has remained so obscure. Even for a 60's independent, the film sits there with full absence of production value or interest. It really feels like a home movie (admittedly, had it been a home movie, it would be a pretty impressive one). I can't say if the film was ever seen on television, though there is evidence of a theatrical release. The film only came to my attention when it surfaced on a Rifftrax Christmas special DVD release. Their print is pretty nice, being low on wear (in fact, I don't recall any wear at all*). The master print was obviously taken from a VHS source, as tracking lines surface a couple of times. Sadly (?) this release does not include the option of viewing the film minus the Nelson/Murphy/Corbett commentary track, since the film is part of a larger show.  

* Screening the film again with this in mind, I did spot some light wear -such as a few scratches during the scene where Mark is climbing the tree. No splices, though, that I noticed.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!

Oddball Film Report: JESSE JAMES MEETS FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER (1965 - color)

"FRANKENSTEIN AND THE OUTLAW"

  Reflecting on an under-rated classic...

  (This review originally appeared in Frankenzine for Sam Gafford. The article is reproduced here by Mr. Gafford's kind permission.)

   If you're of a certain age, you remember a time when the cable channel TNT was the greatest channel on the dial. It was near routine for TNT to air any number of older, even obscure, genre flicks at all hours. This was before many of these films could be found on video or on disk, when you would scan the late night listings in search of some goodie you'd not yet seen. And in those days you could find one, two, or three on any given weekend.

   TNT really came through with a series of programming blocks reserved for Friday and Saturday nights. Most popular was Monstervision, which ran on Saturday nights. Here, a theme would dictate the eclectic selections of odd drive-in movies and old classics. Here could be found the old Harryhausen movies, the return of The Outer Limits, assorted Hammer and Toho offerings, and 50's monster movies galore. Friday nights from midnight til dawn was an even less structured block collectively called 100% Weird.

   100% Weird sought out the most unusual fare the Turner movie library had to offer. Here again a theme usually connected, however thinly, the featured films. These themes ranged from juvenile delinquency to space travel, but usually the selections were just whatever oddball movies that could be thrown together under a loose banner. Popular selections included the Hammer epic PREHISTORIC WOMEN, NIGHT OF THE LEPUS, and the American-Japanese co-production THE MANSTER, as well as such outre offerings as THE CRIPPLED MASTERS, FRANKENSTEIN CONQUERS THE WORLD, THE TWONKY, and THE 5,000 FINGERS OF DR. T. It was this wonderful era in which I finally saw JESSE JAMES MEETS FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER.

   JESSE JAMES MEETS FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER was one of a pair of oat-burner/horror pictures shot in 1965 and released in 1966, the other being BILLY THE KID VS. DRACULA. Both were stronger films than usually given credit for, and both were played perfectly straight in defiance of their somewhat campy titles. What's more, these weren't westerns with monsters tossed in, or horror movies with cowboys. They were straight-forward combinations which delivered everything each audience would desire. Each is a legitimate B western, while also being a legitimate B horror film. The drive-in combo was the near perfect cross-breed, and I think it a shame they stopped with just these two. (Granted, they feel more akin to the mid 50's than the mid 60's, which could be considered both a strength and a weakness.)

   BILLY THE KID VS. DRACULA is the more obscure of the two films, thus far robbed of a pristine disk release. And the prints shown on television are way too dark in the first couple reels. One hopes this situation is corrected soon. JESSE JAMES MEETS FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER happily was subject to a fine release by MGM on tape and disk. It's considered the better of the two films.

THE STORY

   The film opens on the evacuation of a tiny desert town during a fierce electrical storm. Only the Lopez family stays behind, and they'll be taking off as soon as they know the state of one of their children. Said young man is assisting in the experiments being conducted in the refurbished monastery atop the hill overlooking the town, this being the residence of Maria Frankenstein (Narda Onyx). Maria is every bit the raving researcher her infamous grandfather was. Her brother Rudolph (Steven Geray) has a conscience, however, and begs her to stop the unholy experiments which have resulted in the deaths of three Lopez brothers.

   We catch up to the Frankensteins as they attempt to revive the latest Lopez guinea pig. The young man with the stitches across his forehead sits up, but fails to fully regain life. This condition is made permanent by Rudolph, who fills with poison the syringe intended to boost the subject's bodily reactions.

   Maria consults her grandfather's notes and discovers a mistake in her approach. You see, Frankenstein left his heirs some artificial brains which will make ideal transplants and render the revived creatures submissive. But Maria has wasted all but one synthetic brain by forgetting to connect the reviving subject's brain to a living brain to stabilize it's electrical impulses.

   The remaining Lopez sibling, Juanita (Estilita Rodriguez), is told her brothers have died of plague which required the bodies be destroyed. The Lopez family leaves town, and Maria deduces her next subject should be a giant of a man.

   Cut to another town and Jesse James' new sidekick, Hank Tracy (Cal Bolder). Hank is a hulking brute of a man with a slow brain but a kind heart. He's currently in a bare knuckle brawl with the town champ, the prize money desperately needed by Jesse and Hank. Hank proves undefeatable and the pair are soon on their way to a secluded rendezvous with the three remaining members of the infamous Wild Bunch.

   Jesse is thought dead by most folk, but his quick draw on the uppity gang member Lonny (Rayford Barnes) settles any doubt as to his true identity. Unfortunately, this action creates a rivalry between James and Lonny which leads to Lonny informing US Marshall MacPhee (Jim Davis) of the plot to rob the stage coach. In the ambush, the rest of the Wild Bunch is shot down, and Hank takes a bullet in the chest. MacPhee and Lonny take off in pursuit of the fleeing outlaws.

   Jesse and Hank run across the Lopez family at their camp in the woods. Jaunita tends to Hank's wound, but tells Jesse that the bullet will need to be removed quickly. Jesse knows this, but can't risk taking Hank to a town doctor. Jaunita takes the men back to Frankenstein's place. Maria is most impressed by Hank's physical condition, and sets her eyes on using him as her next subject. Maria is also taken with Jesse, romantically, but Jesse has fallen in love with Jaunita. Jaunita has also fallen in love with Jesse, after his rescuing her from hostile Indians. Both women cover for Jesse when MacPhee drops by.

   Rudolph removes the bullet from Hank's chest and the Herculean cowboy indeed makes a speedy recovery. Jaunita urges Jesse to hit the trail as soon as Hank is okay to travel, knowing the Frankensteins are up to no good.

   When Maria discovers the romance between Jesse and Jaunita, Miss Frankenstein plots to get Mr. James killed. Jesse is sent to get some medicine for Hank, who Maria claims has taken a turn for the worse. What Jesse doesn't know is that the note he's carrying is actually a tip-off to let the law know of James' presence in town.

   While Jesse is out to help his friend, Hank goes under the knife. Maria indeed revives Hank's body, now sporting an artificial brain, and dubs him Igor. Igor's first act is to strangle Rudolph when Maria discovers the trick with the poison. Juanita watches all this from the hallway before leaving to warn Jesse.

   Meanwhile, Jesse has gone to the pharmacy and the druggist has warned Lonny. Lonny tries to get the jump on Jesse, but our hero is too fast. Discovering the subterfuge, Jesse rides back. Along the way, he meets Jaunita, who tries to get Jesse to ride on and forget Hank. Jesse isn't one to leave a friend behind, however, and digs dirt. Juanita figures Jesse's life will be safer in the hands of the law and rides on to collect MacPhee. Jesse marches into Frankenstein's lab, but is met by the mindless Igor...

   I'll leave off detailing the actual plot for those who wish to see the film.

EVALUATIONS AND REFLECTIONS

   If the film stumbles in any large way, it's the anachronistic lab equipment the Frankensteins use. The impulse helmets worn by subjects (and later by Maria as she uses her own brainwaves to control Igor's developing brain) are obviously surplus US Army helmets painted with bright red and yellow stripes, and adorned with glowing neon tubes. They also sport exposed Jacob's ladders, which look incredibly dangerous!

   A good deal of the control equipment is also quite a bit newer than it should be, although the Strickfaden equipment (the same units used in the original Universal FRANKENSTEIN) looks quite good. Presumably, this was the first time audiences saw these electrical wonders in color. Strickfaden's creations would later be dusted off for films like DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN and YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN. His creations are just as tied to the Frankenstein aesthetic as are lightning bolts and lab coats. Unfortunately, this equipment is just background decoration and isn't particularly highlighted.

   One wonders, too, just how the elder Frankenstein developed the synthetic brains passed down to his offspring. Frankenstein's son was against the unholy experiments, but for some reason didn't destroy the brains before his daughter Maria could get to them. She and Rudolph had been doing some experimentation in Austria, getting the attention of the authorities. This forced the pair to move to the States. The brains themselves are kept in glass jars with colored fluid. The brains are activated by pouring in what looks like salt. This makes the brains pulsate. How any of this works is left to our imaginations (though you could easily work this footage into an anti-drug PSA).

   The refurbished monastery offers a gothic setting for the Frankensteins, with interiors designed after the fashion of a European castle. Yet, this doesn't seem too far removed from the Mexican aesthetic of the abandoned town which lies in the mission's shadow. This in turn provides an aesthetic not far removed from the typical American settings found throughout the rest of the picture. As result, the aesthetics blend together without anything looking too jarringly out of place, while still maintaining a visual interest from scene to scene.

   BILLY THE KID VS DRACULA seemed to take place later in Billy's life, after his death had been faked as in THE OUTLAW (or so I've always figured). JESSE JAMES MEETS FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER also seems to set itself after the supposed death of the infamous outlaw. In this case, it's actually discussed. Jesse and his gang have recently been involved in a violent altercation with the law and Jesse was among those presumed dead. Frank James is even mentioned, said to be hiding out by posing as a preacher in another town.

   In real life, Jesse was shot in the head by a member of his own gang (a second gang, after the James-Younger gang was no more and James attempted to recapture his former glory by conducting new raids).

   Records of that era were so rough that you could reasonably gloss over the finer details (they do get correct that Jesse James had a $10,000 bounty on his head). Even so, the character presented here has little in common with the real outlaw (not to mention the fact that the real James was married and had a couple of children when he was murdered). A nice touch that does ring true, however, is that James assumes the name of Howard when Maria asks his identity -an alias favored by the real outlaw.

   The historical Jesse James was a southern rebel who turned to crime after a botched attempt to avenge the murder of his commanding officer shortly after the Civil War. The James-Younger gang engaged in much of the same random violence that marked the gangsters of the roaring 20's and Depression era America. And like those men, Jesse James became a larger-than-life figure just as often thought of as a hero as he was an outlaw.

   The movies seemed to prefer James as a heroic character, often as a reluctant outlaw. The Jesse James of JESSE JAMES MEETS FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER is a nicely complex figure with a bit of Robin Hood in him. He leaves money to repay the Lopez family for their troubles, and then rescues Juanita from an Indian warrior seemingly for no other reason than it's just the right thing to do. MacPhee even notes James' tendency to rob from the rich and give to the poor. He's fiercely loyal to his friend Hank, and tries not to lead on Jaunita into thinking that they could have any sort of life together. James knows he is destined to either remain on the run or finish at the end of a rope. Even so, unlike Billy the Kid* in his movie, Jesse is quite firmly an outlaw and makes no allusions to being anything else.

(*The Billy of BILLY THE KID VS DRACULA has turned over a new leaf and is making every effort to escape his past, but his history gives Dracula some leverage when the two find themselves at odds. Personally speaking, I think the vampire movie to be the slightly better of the double bill -but both are plenty fun.)

   Television actor John Lupton makes for a good choice to play this version of Jesse James. He's convincingly tough, yet amiable, perfectly capturing the decent outlaw created by writer Carl Hittleman. (Hittleman had earlier written THE RETURN OF JESSE JAMES, in which a member of the old James-Younger gang convinces John Ireland to pose as the late James and conduct some new raids.) 

   Cal Bolder is good as Hank, despite playing to perhaps an over-used plot device of a big guy being sorta dumb. As Hank, he's an amiable Lenny-type, though not quite as child-like as most such characters. He's a grown man, but tends to let smarter types do his thinking for him. Even with his size and power, Hank remains polite, gentle, and even submissive. He's also loyal and without hesitating takes a bullet meant for Jesse. Jesse seems to genuinely value his friendship, and it never seems as if Jesse is just using the hulk for his own ends -he even risks his life to rescue Hank more than once. As Igor, Bolder plays it stiffer, as if he's now just a robot.

   Estelita Rodriguez (billed here only by first name as she sometimes preferred) is certainly pretty and a good actress, but her age is starting to show and she doesn't look remotely like the rebellious youth she's supposed to be playing. In fact, she looks a little older than her 37 years. Possibly she was already in bad health. She passed a few months later. Reportedly, the cause of her death was never released. Interestingly, she was supposedly preparing to star in a biopic of Lupe Velez. 

   Marshal MacPhee was played by cowboy star Jim Davis. His smooth manner, imposing physical presence, and deep voice all marked him as a perfect western star. He's a natural here, although his part is somewhat limited to that of a supporting character. He has fairly limited screentime, though he has the charisma to come across as a much larger figure than the script really offers. Davis stayed busy right up to his passing in 1981. Although primarily a cowboy star, Davis did have some experience with science fiction programmers. In 1958, he headlined the giant-mutant-wasps-in-Africa epic MONSTER FROM GREEN HELL. Not long after our current subject, he provided some of the better moments of DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN. His easy drawl and everyman appearance also served him well as the star of THE DAY TIME ENDED. 

   Narda Onyx was a busy television actress, and brings that kind of professionalism to the role of Maria Frankenstein -one of the relatively few Frankenstein women to carry on the family business. Heavy, but attractive, she plays well the dedicated -if mad- scientist with conviction. She occasionally goes a bit broad, but somehow that's in keeping with the aesthetic of the film. Countered by the more subdued performances of other cast members, her hysterics seem fitting to the character. 

   She keeps her eye on the prize, even when confronted with stirrings of romantic feelings upon meeting James. This sensation is new to her, and she takes it in with scientific curiosity. This is handled subtly, as the film is primarily aimed at kiddie matinee audiences. Her main trait is to be obsessed with her experiments, though she flashes a vengeful reaction of upset when she finds Jesse and Juanita in each others' arms. This is again done subtly, but she seems genuinely hurt, despite being aware that Jesse was likely already in a relationship with the younger and prettier Jaunita. Onyx retired from acting following this film.

   Another busy television actor, Steven Geray brings a lot of passion to Rudolph Frankenstein, though the role is fairly one dimensional. Taking the place of the standard emotional assistant who grows a conscience and must be eliminated, Rudolph's being a Frankenstein gives the part more juice than it otherwise might've had. Here's a man who has been trying to live down the horrors associated with his name, as his own father had done before. This has likely edged him more toward faith in order to cope, and indeed Rudolph speaks in terms of an engaged divine Creator where his sister speaks of heavenly beings only in the abstract. Rudolph has been the monkey-wrench in Maria's experiments for some time, humanely keeping the dead from coming back to life via injections of poison. If he only had more spine, he might've been able to stop Maria before she could create Igor.

   Yet another extremely busy television actor, Rayford Barnes brings to the role of Lonny the appropriate mixture of jealousy and slimy conniving due a turncoat. Lonny claims to be leaving the Wild Bunch in order to live straight, but his joining MacPhee on the manhunt is only so he can settle a score by killing Jesse. Considered a coward by MacPhee, Lonny none the less attempts to single-handedly get the drop on Jesse at the pharmacy. This proves his undoing, of course, but it shows some guts since he knows how fast Jesse is. Interestingly, Barnes would later act in THE WILD BUNCH.

   Famed character actor Nestor Paiva puts in a brief appearance as the owner of the bar where Jesse and Hank win the bare knuckle brawl before meeting the Wild Bunch. He's great, of course, though his stay is very brief.

   When exactly this is supposed to be set in James' life is uncertain (possibly between his days in the James-Younger gang and the days of his later outlaw band), again mostly because this version of Jesse is so unlike his real-life namesake.  Granted, most Western outlaws weren't cut and dried good or bad. Still, Lupton's dapper gentlemen seems pretty far removed from reality. One can easily see this version of the character starring in a series following the adventures of an outlaw with a good side. It's actually one of the better screen versions of Jesse James that I can think of.

   As a Frankenstein movie, the film offers some interesting items. The Frankensteins arrived in America much earlier than most films portray, but the Frankenstein line also seems to end here. Possibly Rudolph and Maria had other siblings. If the movies have taught us anything, it's that the Frankenstein family tree had countless branches. 

   Another thing we learn is that the original Frankenstein was an even greater genius than we'd been told. Not only had he revived a man sown together from dead tissue, Frankenstein spearheaded the field of artificial organs! He also seems to've been an early genetic scientist. His synthetic brains seem totally organic in structure, are activated chemically, and apparently will last forever if kept in their preservative, fluid-filled jars! Not bad for a guy limited to Victorian technologies.

   Maria demonstrates that the obsessed mania to push the boundaries of science isn't a trait found only in the male members of the Frankenstein clan. Maria may be the first female Frankenstein to wield her scalpel on film. The earlier FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER still involved a male scientist -in that one the monster was female. Even earlier was FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLF MAN, in which Frankenstein's feminine offspring showed absolutely no scientific curiosity -and was in fact leery of it after seeing what it did to her father. A year after our current subject, Hammer offered up FRANKENSTEIN CREATED WOMAN, in which Dr. Frankenstein's experiments in soul transference result in a sexy blonde harboring a murderer's mind. A few years down the road, LADY FRANKENSTEIN would present a more immediate female offspring of Frankenstein who shared his scientific passion. By that time, of course, female mad scientists were quite common in exploitation horror and science fiction.

    JESSE JAMES MEETS FRAKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER is a fun little drive-in movie from an era in which genre films weren't required to be mean or ironic. Although the B western/horror subgenre boasts a few titles, it's also true that our current subject and it's co-feature represent the zenith of that form. Family-friendly combos of western action and monster spookery, both films can lean toward being a bit talky at times. On the other hand, both were professionally shot by experienced helmer William Beaudine and show the polish one might expect. 

   Nothing overly spectacular in our director's approach, but nothing really lacking, either. Beaudine's most interesting imagery here may be in the title sequence, which plays out over footage of the townsfolk packing up and leaving during a raging electrical storm. There's some beautiful western scenery throughout, but Beaudine really doesn't do much with it. The definition of a hack director, Beaudine was reliable but avoided flourishes. A matte painting of the Frankenstein castle looming over the tiny village in the foreground is probably the most fanciful visual here. Jesse's fight with a redskin warrior is nicely staged, it should be noted.

   The two films were Beaudine's final theatrical directorial efforts. Both sport some fine (if unspectacular) color cinematography Lothrop Worth. Given the television background of many involved, it should probably be expected that the films are on the level of TV movies of the period. I'd like to note that I don't say that as a detriment.

   In the end, a film better than it's reputation. Seeing it again reminded me of those magical days in which I would stay up until two in the morning to catch such fare on TNT. Wonderful memories.

THE SPOILERS

   Hank's transformation into Igor is tragic, but his finish leaves some questions. Despite having a whole new brain, and a virgin one at that, Igor seems to retain enough of Hank's memories to break free of Frankenstein's control. As Igor, he refuses to kill Jaunita and turns on Maria, thus another Frankenstein is destroyed by their own unholy creation. Igor lacks this recall when it comes time to confront Jesse, who refrains from taking a shot at his friend to the point that he's nearly crushed to death. Fortunately, Juanita grabs Jesse's dropped gun and brings an end to the first Frankenstein monster to be reasonably easy to kill.

   Although Hank shows no romantic interest in Juanita, he does form an emotional bond with her as she helps to nurse him back to health after his first operation. When Maria tells Igor to collect Jaunita, the creature pauses in recognition of the name -seemingly in response to Hank's memories. Even in his death throws, Igor echoes Hank's affection for Juanita. Why Igor recalls Juanita is left a mystery. Possibly it's Hank's soul influencing the brain? Jesse, though closer to Hank, doesn't get this benefit.

   When Jesse is taken away by MacPhee, he seems resigned to his fate. Jaunita promises to wait for his return, but Jesse remains unconvinced that he will ever see her again. Tellingly, MacPhee doesn't have Jesse restrained in any way. The outlaw rides alongside MacPhee quietly, ready to take his medicine like a man. Presumably, Juanita has filled MacPhee in on everything he was unconscious for (after being jumped by Igor), thus giving the previously antagonistic lawman a quiet respect for the man he must bring in. In it's way, it's really the perfect ending to such a film.