A Quick Look: THE CANNONBALL RUN (1981 - color) and CANNONBALL RUN II (1984 - color)

   My favorite moment with the late Sir Roger Moore. True, there were more compelling performances, but this perfectly captures the sense of self-parody humor Mr. Moore was known for. THE CANNONBALL RUN was the zenith of the cornball comedy car genre Hal Needham more or less created in the 70's, and caused box office sensation with through the highly repeatable SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT. Bandit himself, Burt Reynolds, headlines an all-star cast in this slapstick road comedy based on an actual cross-country race. In fact, the souped-up ambulance is actually the vehicle Needham himself drove in the real race! Amid the Cannonballers is Roger Moore as a delusional Jewish heir who thinks he actually IS Roger Moore, and lives like James Bond! His car for the race is the Aston Martin Sean Connery's 007 drove, and it comes complete with all the gadgets. All of Needham's feel-good antics are here, from crazy stunts to cartoonish jokes to catchy theme songs. The cast is simply incredible, including the likes of Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr, Dom DeLouise, Farrah Fawcett, Jack Elam, Jamie Farr, and more -including a young Jackie Chan. Peter Fonda has a cameo as a biker, as you might expect. Breezy comedy still offers a moment or two of genuine acting for Reynolds, who was at the time one of the biggest stars in the universe (reportedly, his salary for the film was a record-shattering five million dollars). The film was a smash hit, and the even crazier and even more star-studded CANNONBALL RUN II was short in following. Sadly, Moore wasn't in that one.

   Rest In Peace, Sir Moore. We'll never forget you.

   CANNONBALL RUN II had something like three dozen star names! It was sorta the 80's generation version of IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD in that respect. Basically it starts as an even larger version of the first film, as dozens of cars enter the Cannonball cross-country road race to win a million dollar cash prize put up by Arabian Prince Jamie Farr. Gangsters become involved and kidnap the Prince, which puts a temporary halt on the race. Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLouise, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis Jr. go undercover to rescue him! Again, fun is the order of the day, and this is basically a huge cartoon. One could never mention everybody who passes through, but the roster includes such stars as Frank Sinatra, Telly Savalas, Tim Conway, Henry Silva, Don Knotts, Jim Nabors, George Lindsey, Sid Ceaser, Fostor Brooks, Abe Vigoda, Charles Nelson Rielly, Ricardo Montalban, Jackie Chan, Richard Kiel, Marilu Henner, Susan Anton, Catherine Bach, Doug McClure, Jack Elam, Tony Danza, Mel Tillis, it just goes on and on! Fortunately, I was able to tape this one from one of the movie channels back when I had a dish. I've long wished there'd been a third one, and apparently there was. CANNONBALL FEVER followed a few years later but quickly slipped into obscurity. This is probably because the only returning actor from the previous two was Jamie Farr and audiences saw the franchise as a Burt Reynolds property.

A Quick Look: A VIEW TO A KILL (1985 - color)

   My favorite Roger Moore Bond adventure was his last one, A VIEW TO A KILL. This one finds Bond teaming with a beauteous geologist to prevent microchip baron Max Zorin from destroying Silicon Valley with an artificial earthquake (ironically, an earthquake once hit my area WHILE I WAS VIEWING THIS MOVIE, though it was so mild that I wasn't even aware of it until the next day). This entry features what may be my single favorite piece of John Barry music, heard as Bond rescues Stacy from a building fire. It's one of those genuinely inspiring, no holding back on the reality of it, moments of heroism. Tanya Roberts is the girl, and she's absolutely scrumptious here. A bit less dreamy is Grace Jones as Mayday, but she makes the most of her seemingly limited role. It's Christopher Walken who steals the show as madman Zorin, the casually murderous, brilliant superman the result of Nazi experiments at the end of the War! Patrick McNee joins the fun as 007's fellow agent, and the two make a great comedy team within the context of a spy adventure. Moore makes his final outing as Bond a memorable one, and finally gets a title song that isn't a breathy lounge piece as had been the norm for the last several films. Duran Duran's "A View To A Kill" may remain the definitive Bond song of the 80's, and was one of the very last things the group did before splitting up!

A Quick Look: OCTOPUSSY (1983 - color)

   By the time of the release of today's film, a pattern had shown itself. When the Bond films gave the audience the elements it expected, they generally did well. When the producers experimented with new directions, the films generally did lesser business (not poor business, you understand). OCTOPUSSY embraced a lot of the more colorful elements FOR YOUR EYES ONLY had neglected. 007 is assigned to investigate a smuggling operation connected to a lady kingpin (queenpin?) known as Octopussy. Octopussy has a private island and an army of comely young women being duped by an Indian despot named Kamal Kahn. Maude Adams plays Octopussy, and the real heavy is memorably brought to life by respected actor Louis Jordon. I'm pretty keen on this chapter, featuring as it does one of the most suspenseful climaxes of the entire series. As I've noted, the film was entangled in "The Battle of the Bonds" when Kevin McClory's long-delayed remake of THUNDERBALL was finally produced and set to be released at the same time as OCTOPUSSY. McClory's film, NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN, starred the original Bond himself, Sean Connery, and there was much nervousness as to whether Moore's film could even compete. (Connery and Moore were friends, and NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN was originally supposed to end with a Moore cameo.) While NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN hit screens first, it was OCTOPUSSY which ultimately did better business (reportedly, Connery himself noted that OCTOPUSSY was the better film). OCTOPUSSY had in it's favor a more original story, and one of Moore's best performances as 007. He almost didn't do the picture, and James Brolin was all-but-cast to star before Moore finally decided to return. Roger would go on to play Bond one more time before finally calling it quits.

A Quick Look: FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (1981 - color)

   The first Bond of the 80's, FOR YOUR EYES ONLY was far more subdued than the previous entries. Geared more toward realism, the film tells of Bond's efforts to keep a British nuclear launch code device from enemy hands. Bond teams with the daughter of a murdered agent, and a band of black market rebels, as he tracks down the killer who plans to sell the device to the reds. No exploding secret lairs, no scarred villain, not much in the way of futuristic gadgets, just a down-to-earth story of espionage and intrigue. Though the film has some fans because of those facts, it's worth noting that EON switched back to the more standard formula for the next adventure, OCTOPUSSY. FOR YOUR EYES ONLY was the first film for which Roger Moore considered leaving the role. Famously good-humored, the violent exploits of the world's greatest spy didn't appeal to Moore as much as making people laugh did. It was right around this time that Moore spoofed his image in the comedy classic THE CANNONBALL RUN, in which he played a man who thought he was Roger Moore -and lived like James Bond! Written to showcase a new actor, FOR YOUR EYES ONLY's opening sequence shows 007 visiting Tracy's grave before Blofeld attempts to assassinate Bond with a remotely-controlled helicopter. This would've been a fine start for a potential new Bond, but Moore ultimately agreed to return. Moore again decided that he was through after completing FOR YOUR EYES ONLY, and James Brolin was all but cast for OCTOPUSSY before Moore decided to come back and do the film (which needed his presence, as a new actor probably wouldn't have been able to make the successful transition in the wake of Sean Connery's triumphant return to the role in Warner Brothers' NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN the same year). Roger, and a lot of critics, thought he was too old for the part when he did his last assignment, A VIEW TO A KILL, and Moore finally bowed out. He was subsequently knighted Sir Roger Moore.

A Quick Look: MOONRAKER (1979 - color)

   The way I heard it, Ian Fleming's story dealt with an anti-Semite who plotted to destroy London with a rocket. That'd be fine for a TV show, but by the time MOONRAKER came to the big screen, audiences expected the stakes to be much higher for a Bond adventure. So, the movie's plot involves the eccentric industrialist Hugo Drax plotting to destroy all humanity and repopulate the world with his super race of perfect specimens housed on an orbiting space station! Initially, EON planned to follow THE SPY WHO LOVED ME with FOR YOUR EYES ONLY, but the rampant success of STAR WARS left an appetite for space opera in the movie-going public. MOONRAKER was another huge success, though it has been torn apart in reflection. It's now considered far too cartoony and over-the-top. Such feelings actually arose fairly quickly, and the producers went for a more realistic approach in the next film. Personally, I think this 007 adventure may feature the most beautiful Bond girls of the series -but it's Jaws who may've walked away with the sexiest one of all! The special effects are spectacular, most of them done in-camera! Shirley Bassey provides her third James Bond title song, following the hits recorded for GOLDFINGER and DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER, and she remains the perfect vocal match to John Barry's music. Though it has it's detractors, there's no denying that MOONRAKER is supremely entertaining adventure fare. And thus James Bond ended the 70's a winner.

A Quick Look: THE SPY WHO LOVED ME (1977 - color)

   THE SPY WHO LOVED ME revitalized the franchise (though a spy craze like that of the 60's did not follow this time). Our story finds Bond and a Russian agent forced to work together in order to prevent the theft of a pair of atomic submarines from escalating into all-out war. Barbara Bach is the Russian agent, who vows to kill 007 once the mission is complete, because our hero had earlier snuffed her lover during a ski chase. Curt Jurgens is Stromberg, the meglomaniac who plans to rule the post-war earth from his underwater city. Richard Kiel makes his first appearance as Jaws, the assassin with metal teeth. As you can tell, this adventure embraces the colorful elements that defined the genre. The plot is largely a seafaring take on the events of YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE, but the film holds it's own. Moore has fully settled into his version of Bond by now, and the character will begin showing a more and more humorous side from here on out. Some notable names in the supporting cast include Caroline Munro as Stromberg's giddy -and beautiful- assassin who meets the business end of a surface-to-air missile fired from Bond's latest wonder car. Shane Rimmer gets an all-too-rare showy role as the captain of an American submarine. The return of Bond to theaters was played up big time, proclaiming 1977 to be the year 0077 (imagine my shock when the year 2007 came and went without a Bond film in release). The film did dynamite business, and plans were in place to follow up with FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (the end credits announce this title as the next adventure). The incredible success of STAR WARS, however, had the producers scrambling for a more science fiction based story to bring to the screen. MOONRAKER was the result.

A Quick Look: THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN (1974 - color)

   One of the very last films of the spy cycle, THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN was also the first James Bond movie to under-perform at the box office. While not a total flop or anything, the film did far less business than did the previous entries. Following this, the producers re-trenched and made sure the next entry delivered everything fans expected. Meanwhile, THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN became the unmentioned middle child of the series until it would find an audience on television. Personally, I rather like the film, and it remains one of my favorite Moore episodes. Agent 007 finds himself on the hit list of Scaramanga, the world's top assassin. The killer is known for taking out his targets with a golden bullet, fired from his custom-made golden gun. Scaramanga sees himself as cut from the same cloth as Bond, and dreams of the ultimate showdown between himself and the British agent. The climax of the film takes on the familiar territory of a THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME take-off, which may partly be why the film was received so coolly. Audiences had come to expect much more originality from 007. At any rate, this is a good vehicle for Roger Moore, and showcases him in a much more typical Bond adventure. Christopher Lee plays Scaramanga, and the part benefits from the actor's imposing physical presence and powerful voice. The girls this time around are Maude Adams as Scaramanga's kept woman and Britt Ekland as a fellow agent who serves much the same function for Bond as Sharon Tate's character did for Matt Helm in THE WRECKING CREW. Adams, of course, would break James Bond tradition by being cast in another Bond vehicle, as the titular character of OCTOPUSSY. And of course, Clifton James returns as Sheriff J.W. Pepper, who runs into Bond while on vacation in Thailand! I always forget about this until he shows up. That aside, the film is pretty nifty. The main theme song is one of the series' best. Still, the film's comparatively poor reception spooked the producers into holding back the next adventure, THE SPY WHO LOVED ME, until 1977. Though basically an aquatic re-imagining of YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE, the film was so handsome and exciting that it drew fans back in droves and set the stage for even more adventures.

A Quick Look: LIVE AND LET DIE (1973 - color)

R.I.P. Sir Roger Moore. You were iconic, and leave behind a legacy of tremendous fun and good humor. God bless you, sir, and thanks for everything.

In light of Mr. Moore's passing, allow me to post over the next week or so my thoughts on his tenure as the world's most famous secret agent...

   Following his return to the role of 007 for DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER, Sean Connery again vowed he was done with the franchise (although he would play James Bond once more in Kevin McClory's 1983 film NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN). LIVE AND LET DIE introduced a new James Bond, and Roger Moore would go on to define the 70's Bond as much as Connery had the 60's Bond. This adventure finds 007 investigating the connection between a Harlem drug lord and the cultured leader of a tropical island nation. Although the film has it's strong points, it also has some weaknesses -the main one being Clifton James' hick Sheriff J.W. Pepper. This cartoonish parody of redneck lawmen monopolizes a good stretch of the movie's middle, but the character was such a hit with audiences that he would be brought back for the next Bond film! Roger Moore effortlessly breezes through his initial mission as 007, in a film that tosses in some supernatural elements to the usual espionage and intrigue. This might sound like a strange direction, but it should be noted that by this time the spy genre had been experimenting with elements of the fantastic to stay distinctive. DIMENSION 5, for example, included a working form of time travel amid it's gadgets. The Japanese film ESPY involved secret agents with paranormal talents. Here, Jane Seymour plays a voodoo priestess with a knack for telling the future. She's employed by the commanding Yaphet Kotto (sp?) but she quickly finds herself siding with Bond -although this means the loss of her powers. The Wings perform the title tune, which remains mysteriously popular despite being the weakest Bond theme until the dreary "Die Another Day" came along at the turn of the century. By the time of LIVE AND LET DIE, the spy craze had largely played itself out (by the 70's, detectives were again the heroes of choice). Only Bond would really survive the craze he started, his series still operating today. Despite the spy craze being over by this time, Roger Moore's initial showing as Bond was a hit. EON quickly turned around and produced the better-but-not-as-solid-financially THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN, cementing Moore as the new 007.

A Quick Look: THE LEGEND OF BLOOD MOUNTAIN (1965 - color)

   Here's a movie you'll probably never see. I have a thing for regional 60's monster movies, and THE LEGEND OF BLOOD MOUNTAIN is probably the 2nd or 3rd most obscure movie in my library. It's a weird one, too, being a straight horror movie that has as it's main character what I can only describe as a 50's burlesque comic. They seem to've shot the film thinking the guy by himself was funny, and just let the camera roll without really giving him anything to do. The second reel, in fact, is spent watching this guy listening to the radio, eating cookies in bed, and then having an utterly pointless dream sequence in which he does absolutely nothing. This bit of film is easily the most pointless filler material I have ever laid eyes on, which is a truly staggering statement! Once things get moving, though, it turns into a technically-crude-but-charming monster movie. Said monster is possibly the most unique movie monster I've ever seen, being part suit, part prosthetics, and part body paint! Always a plus, the film doesn't skimp on pretty girls in 60's Summer attire. One reel is missing from the only version ever released on video, saddled with the title "Demon Hunter" for some reason. Strangely, the film was re-edited and issued a decade later as a bogus Bigfoot documentary titled BLOOD BEAST OF MONSTER MOUNTAIN. This version does have some footage missing from the 60's print, but lacks the originality and charm of it's first incarnation. It replaced the screen's most intriguing monster with a typical sasquatch, and then tried to pass itself off as a dramatization of an actual event! If one had the equipment to do so, a fella could probably edit footage from both versions into a fuller print of THE LEGEND OF BLOOD MOUNTAIN. Of course, the problem the original film had was that it's first two reels (following the pre-credit sequence) are insufferable. Removing that mess, you'd be left with a fairly entertaining (if you're like me, anyway) little regional monster picture. By the way, there is an actual bleeding mountain in the movie, which is left unexplained in either version!

A Quick Look: THE KILLER THAT STALKED NEW YORK (1950)

   When it comes to 50's B crime thrillers, I think Columbia made the best ones (RKO a very close second). In 1950 they gave us THE KILLER THAT STALKED NEW YORK, about a woman who unknowingly brings smallpox into the city in '47, and the authorities trying to prevent the outbreak from spreading. As she's being hunted, she's hunting down her rat fink husband who has double-crossed her by stealing some diamonds she smuggled into the country for him. Evelyn Keyes is the titular, unknowing killer, and she's supported by numerous familiar character players. The same year, 20th Century Fox produced PANIC IN THE STREETS, in which Richard Wydmark and Paul Douglas desperately search for the killer of a man discovered to be carrying plague. They make for an interesting double feature, having similar themes but wildly different approaches.

Panel details from Femforce 178

My favorite childhood book

Betsy the Bookwriter in "PAGET'S ISLAND" (2013, from Main Enterprises PRESENTS no.10) complete story

Oddball Film Report: MARS ATTACKS! (1996 - color)

 
MARS ATTACKS! (1996 - color)

The Short Story: Tim Burton directs an all-star cast in a lavish tribute/send-up of 50's science fiction and 70's disaster epics.

The Details:
   It was something of a misfire. 

   A movie you either love or hate, Tim Burton's lavish tribute to 50's invasion movies via a big screen adaptation of the notorious early 60's Mars Attacks trading cards certainly brings the goods to the table. The use of those goods doesn't quite work out the way the producers were hoping, however. This may largely be because the tone of the film is hard to pin down. It seems to be trying to be all things to all people, and pleasing fewer than intended.

   It's an epic, all-star disaster movie that hearkens back to both the disaster cycle of the 70's and the Technicolor epics of the 50's. 

   It's a science fiction horror film. 

   It's, if not an outright comedy, certainly a satire. It's very quirky, becoming moreso as it progresses.

   It's a political satire, one which perfectly foreshadows Washington's denial-based reaction to Islamic terrorism in the next century. This is completely coincidental, of course, but it's hard not so see it upon reflection from the Age of Terror. As such, this aspect of it has more subtext now than it did in the 90's.

   It's got gorgeous color and makes full use of the wide-screen lens. It's at times a very beautiful movie, in fact. The problem seems to lie in the attitude the film tries for. It's not entirely earnest, nor is it entirely snarky. A better balance of these approaches might've worked wonders.

   The film's opening partly explains the pros and cons of the movie. As the Warner Brothers logo comes up, we see a classic flying saucer descend through the clouds behind it. A wonderful little touch. 

   In a pre-credit bit, a pair of farmers are confronted with the sight of a stampede of cattle that have been set aflame (this image a recall to the card set). The farmers then look up and see a flying saucer take off. 

   This leads into the credits which play over footage of the saucer returning to Mars, after which a massive fleet of saucers takes off and encircles the Earth. It's a hypnotic sequence, and builds our attention to a positive frenzy. Then everything grinds to a stop as we begin our first scene proper, that of the US President studying satellite photos of the saucers and conferring with his staff. It's one of the cruelest openings I've ever seen.

   That's not to say there aren't some amusing moments here. Though largely lost in the chaos that follows, Jack Nicholson's performance as President Dale is quite good. He begins as a statesman used to speaking with the people in a familial way (if typically seeing himself as set apart from them, he does seem unusually interested in the people for a career politician). As things progress and he becomes more and more stressed, he manifests in a rather realistic progression from control to uncontrol to outright abandon. 

   The truth is, many of the performances here are pretty good, if one dimensional. The actors really aren't going over the top so much as the movie is. In better directorial hands, this could've been pretty effective. Basically, the film is about watching people react to an invasion by murderous cartoons, thus owing a nod as well to Martian, Go Home!

   Anyway, the subject of the scene is how to deal with this discovery of flying saucers surrounding the globe. Only General Decker (Rod Steiger) sees the Martians as a potentially hostile force. The others follow the lead of the scientific advisor Professor Kessler (Pierce Brosnan), who believes that the very fact of technological superiority requires peaceful ambitions. 

   Apparently, the US is the only country that has knowledge of the Martians, and the debate is largely on whether to announce the story to the rest of the world -and how to best do it.  Press Secretary Ross (Martin Short) writes up a hopeful speech for the President to deliver. (Presumably, the fact that such a momentous event is announced in such a relaxed, Mr. Rogers-like manner is one of the gags, but it rings true of the political class of the 90's.)

   Across the country, people react to the news of the Martians. Nicholson plays two roles here. In addition to President Dale, he also plays seedy con man Art Land. He's a sharp trigger who comes off as a slow wit, or maybe he's a slow wit who fronts crafty... Anyway, he's married to new-age nutcase Barbara (Annette Bening), who thinks the Martians coming to Earth is just ducky. 

   Other characters include Jim Brown as former heavyweight champion Byron Williams (on hard times since his divorce and now stuck entertaining in a Las Vegas casino), his ex-wife Louise (Pam Grier) and her mildly rebellious sons, and "GNN" reporter Jason Stone (Michael J. Fox) and his wife Nathalie (Sarah Jessica Parker). Though he's a serious reporter, she's basically a tabloid TV hostess, and Jason is confused and upset that she's the one who's going to interview Professor Kessler about the Martians.

   There's also a trailer-park redneck family headed up by Joe Don Baker. His son Billy Glenn (Jack Black) is an Army grunt gung-ho to fight the Martians. Baker is proud of Billy Glenn, but practically the whole family thinks younger sibling Richie (Lukas Haas) is a disappointment. The only family member Richie really gets along with is his senile Grandmother (Sylvia Sidney).

   Kessler is interviewed by Nathalie on live TV, during which time the Martians break into our transmissions and make an announcement. The exact nature of this announcement is unclear, even after it's been translated by an experimental voice recorder. Kessler insists things are good, and shortly the White House gets word of the Martian landing zone in Nevada.

   It's well known that there are two types of military General, the warrior General and the political General -the latter type the sort to use their position as a means to an easy life and push policy agendas. If General Decker is a warrior General, General Casey (Paul Winfield) is a political General. He's largely been biding his time in silence, waiting for a chance to move to the front of the pack based on favorability rather than effort. Siding with Professor Kessler's they-must-be-peaceful evaluation, he's placed in charge of the operation to greet the Martians.

   A massive crowd gathers in the Nevada desert to greet the Martian flagship, including Barbara. Rather than join the crowd, though, she finds a position atop a hillside to overlook the event. The crowds, in a slyly realistic touch, includes a large contingent of hippies -the very sort who would go greet the Martians rather than cautiously watch from afar. Both Jason and Nathalie are on the spot reporting the event. The saucer arrives and touches down. The Martians appear before humanity. The translator insists the Martians have come in peace, but all falls apart when a hippie releases a dove in celebration.

   What exactly is going on here isn't clear. The Martians are quite obviously evil and relish messing with us. Yet, they do seem legitimately afraid of birds. How much one thing has to do with the other is never made clear, but the dove sets off this particular massacre.

   In the ensuing chaos, General Casey, Jason, and Billy Glenn are vaporized, Nathalie is abducted, and much destruction occurs. Barbara, watching from her hillside perch, bursts into tears as the saucer takes off. Back at the White House, the general feeling is that we may've unknowingly done something to offend the Martians.

   Barbara sees the writing on the wall and falls into despair, though Art seems unconcerned. President Dale sends a radio message to the Martians, in the hopes that the incident in Nevada was result of cultural misunderstanding. The Martians chuckle over the message before responding with the desire to address Congress. 

   Decker is vindicated the hard way when the Martians vaporize the assembly, though the President still poo-poos the idea of retaliating with atomic weapons. Kessler, on hand during the Congress episode, has been abducted and wakes to find he's now little more than a living head suspended from wires in the main saucer. Nathalie is also on hand, having had her head attached to the body of her little dog. 

   Presumably, this is meant to be comical, though it's mostly surreal. The Martians merrily experiment on whatever they capture. They're so cartoon-like by nature, they do very little that makes any sense. (Certainly Nathalie's casual acceptance of this turn of events points toward a humorous take, though given the recent trauma she's experienced there is a certain realistic air to her denial. I have my doubts that was really the intention, though.)

   Ross has a weakness for ladies of the evening, and he has the hard luck to pick up a Martian spy dressed as a sexy gal in the shape of Lisa Marie (who, it must be noted, is quite beautiful in her 60's-era makeup). The spy manages to sneak into the Presidential bedroom and nearly kills the President and the First Lady (Glenn Close), but the secret service manages to save the day. The killing of the spy, however, greatly angers the Martian King and all-out invasion begins.

   The film has some wonderful footage of the saucers in action, though too often they go for visual gags rather than outright destruction. My brother explained it to me as the Martians are basically delinquents and vandals moreso than a conquering army. There is some great Army vs Martians stuff, but it's mostly background for the characters fleeing. 

   The Martians attack the White House, and the First Lady is crushed by a falling chandelier during the chaos. In Las Vegas, Art is killed when the Martians demolish the hotel he's about to open. 

   Barbara comes to Byron for help, telling him she has a plane and wants to find safety in some remote caves. Byron wants to fly to Washington, where his family is under siege. Tom Jones, playing himself, finds his evening show interrupted by a sudden Martian attack. He can fly a plane, so he, Barbara, Byron, waitress Cindy (Janice Rivera) and gambler Danny DeVito make for the hangar as full scale invasion takes place around the world. In Kansas, Richie escapes the murder of the rest of his family as he drives to the retirement home to save his Grandmother.

   The Martians invade the White House war room and slaughter everyone. The President, a statesman to the last, makes a speech to the Martian King about cooperation-rather-than-destruction. The King extends his hand in peace, but it's a trick and the President is killed. It looks like Earth has fallen to the Martians. 

   However, a weapon against them is discovered when Richie finds his Grandma about to be killed by the Martians. She pulls her headphones free of her record player, filling the room with the tones of Slim Whitman's "Indian Love Call" and then watching in confusion as the Martians in the room grab their heads in pain. Slim's yodeling causes the Martians' brains to explode!

   Back in Vegas, DeVito gets scorched before the others reach the airfield. Unfortunately, a company of Martians is on the tarmac. Byron buys time for the others to take off by directly challenging the head Martian to a bare knuckle battle. Byron comes on strong, but the other Martians swarm him when his opponent falls. In New York, Louise senses something has happened to Byron.

   The voice of Slim Whitman broadcast around the world causes the saucers to begin crashing. Kessler and Nathalie, their heads ending up rolling about on the deck of the saucer, proclaim their love for one another as the command ship crashes. (As you can tell, it's in this reel that things have shot so far over the top that one must assume this is an all-out comedy.)

   In the aftermath, the only official left alive in Washington is the President's daughter, Taffy (Natalie Portman). She presents Richie and his Grandmother with the Metal of Honor. Louise ponders how she'll go on without Byron. Byron has survived, however, and comes marching up toward the remains of the apartment building. Tom Jones plays us out with his signature tune "It's Not Unusual."

   The Mars Attacks trading cards which inspired the film first appeared in 1962. Topps had enjoyed success with a Civil War trading card set, and it was felt a science fiction set could do equally as well. The resulting card set was a series of graphic paintings depicting the war against invaders from Mars. 

   The Civil War set had been pretty gory, though it was based in history. Mars Attacks followed the same pattern with a lean toward fantasy. This particular combination didn't come off quite as harmless as the actual war cards. Topps was so squeamish about it that the cards were issued under the banner of "Bubbles Inc" rather than the more respectable Topps logo.

   Parents were horrified by the cards and there was immediate backlash against them. Mars Attacks was violent, nasty, and lurid, following the lead of the pulps. Of course, the pulps were aimed at adults, not children (never mind that probably more children read them than adults did). The cards were quickly yanked from distribution and became the stuff of legend with the kids who remembered them. 

   The cards eventually resurfaced, with some of the more graphic images being toned way down. A couple of decades after the original affair, the cards were reissued in a time when card collecting had become more of an adult hobby. The reissue did so well that new cards were commissioned. Misreading the aesthetic of the 60's cards, the new ones were despicably nasty and bleak, delighting in the slaughter of innocence in every merrily bizarre and cruel way possible. By this time, the property really had become the gore equivalent of pornography.

   It was one of the additional cards, by the way, which inspired the Martian spy dressed as a woman with a beehive hairdo.

   Even more intentionally tasteless and repugnant was a tribute series called Dinosaurs Attack, also released by Topps, in 1988. A few years later, the cards were offered as options for motion picture adaptation. The 90's dinosaur craze was in full swing at the time, so it was decided to go with Mars Attacks in order to stand out from the crowd. Immediately following the decision, a slew of invasion films were announced. MARS ATTACKS! would be released the same year as the more regulation INDEPENDENCE DAY.

   The story told by the cards had the Martians launching a full-scale assault on Earth, first with ships and ground troops, then with enlarged insects. The US Army manages to marshal it's resources and launch a counter-attack, actually landing on Mars and fighting there before leaving as the planet explodes. The movie, written unaware that the cards had an actual story, involved the Martians surrounding Earth and toying with American diplomacy before launching a full-scale assault with ships and ground troops -after which man discovers that the singing voice of Slim Whitman will kill the Martians. 

   The film's tone is all over the place. Much of it is played for laughs, but much of it also rings true in natural reactions. The parts are largely under-written, but they seem more complete by the casting of so many professional actors. The part of Jason Stone is practically a non-entity, but Michael J. Fox comes across as a complete character mostly in his star presence alone. 

   In this, the film recalls the disaster movies of the 70's. Certainly Danny DeVito's tacky and oblivious gambler reminds one quite strongly of Walter Matthau's tacky and oblivious barfly from EARTHQUAKE. The straightest presentation is that of divorced lovers Jim Brown and Pam Grier, who rise above the cartoonish surroundings. A few lines trimmed here and there and much of the film could be considered perfectly straight before the climax.

   The film's aesthetic is an interesting one. Though set in the 90's, the film does what it can to offer a more timeless look by punching up as much retro design as possible. Much clothing and some sets are very, very 60's, while others hearken back to a decade earlier. The White House photographer carries a very old fashioned flashbulb camera to take a picture of the First Lady, decked out in a dress one could see Jackie Kennedy donning. 

   The Army men are mostly seen in uniforms that recall the 50's, and even use Patton tanks -which were the standard in the 50's. In classic Hollywood style, the film is shot in full wide-screen, something Tim Burton rarely does. The colors are so bold and rich, they deftly recall not only the 60's card sets, but the rich Technicolor of early 60's motion pictures. The picture looks good, and certainly sounds good thanks to Danny Elfman's score.

   Elfman's work must be praised, grounding much of what we see with a largely serious selection. Only the Martian theme seems overly whimsical, though even it is visceral and war-like. Heavy theremin use recalls THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL, while a mechanical drive is mixed with a vocal choir typical of Elfman's product. His opening theme is a masterpiece which starts small and lurking and builds to fever pitch. The music then goes largely quiet until the Martian's make their next appearance. 

   Musically, the saucer landing in Nevada is given a majestic and mysterious sense of wonder, and the resulting massacre is scored with incredible feeling. The dangerous, yet heroic, theme played when Jason braves heavy fire to reach Nathalie is touching and stirring. Jason's being vaporized upon taking Nathalie by the hand is played a bit comical visually (what with Nathalie's little dog picking up Jason's severed hand and scampering away with it) but not musically. Had the rest of the film had the discipline of the score, it might've been a better experience.

   Of course, one must assume the tone is intentionally silly when Nathalie has her head swapped with that of her dog, and then continues to flirt with Professor Kessler when he awakes to find himself in pieces. (Then again, this is Tim Burton we're talking about. Even when he's being serious, he's quirky.) 

   The final indignity is the solution being found in the yodeling of the late Slim Whitman. This is so fanciful as to undercut much of what we've seen come before it. This Whitman bit, by the way, is in parody of movie monsters often overcome by sound waves harmless to human beings. Electronic signals frequently offer deliverance in 50's monster movies.

   The cast is certainly striking, with more big stars than one has seen since the 70's cycle of disaster dramas. That such a cast could be assembled in a more recent movie, in a time when it was really no longer cost-effective to have all-star casts, is truly impressive. As a counter-point, INDEPENDENCE DAY likewise featured a cast packed with familiar faces, but most of them were of a lower stature than were the likes of Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Sarah Jessica Parker, Annette Bening, and Pierce Brosnan at this particular time in history*. The blending of then-current stars with old pros like Joe Don Baker and Jim Brown also recalls the 70's films, as does the presence of a Golden-Age Hollywood leading lady in the shape of Sylvia Sidney. Come to think of it, most of those movies tried to include a pop star, and this one has Tom Jones! 

(*Will Smith was still primarily a TV star when he made INDEPENDENCE DAY, but the film's success and his performance quickly catapulted the young man into position as one of the industry's biggest stars.)

   Initially, Burton wanted to use stop-motion animation in tribute to the 50's movies he loves, and which inform MARS ATTACKS! The crew managed to convince him, though, that stop-motion would send the film wildly over budget (and the film is already quite lavish). Burton instead went with the still-fresh (if already over-used) Computer Generated Imagery technique. Even so, he made sure his Martians were based on the hideous creatures of the card set (interestingly, the 80's clip showcase INVASION EARTH, THE ALIENS ARE HERE! also gave it's Martians the same uniforms worn by the card set invaders). The flying saucers, meanwhile, are beauteous throwbacks to the 50's. Most prominently, they hearken to Ray Harryhausen's rotating wonders of EARTH VS THE FLYING SAUCERS. The MARS ATTACKS! vehicles are somewhat streamlined, however.

   In recall to the card set, there's often so much action packed into frame that it can be difficult to follow what's going on. You want to watch everything at once, and that can be difficult with the saucers buzzing about, buildings being torn apart, explosions going off, and assorted civilians and soldiers running around in every distance the camera can capture. 

    Some beautiful miniature work is mingled with a few instances of real demolition, and some better-than-average CGI. This movie must've been super-expensive, between the cast, effects, and location filming. The odd bit is that INDEPENDENCE DAY, which was filmed much more modestly, feels like the bigger movie. With everything on display, it remains true that MARS ATTACKS! really feels like a B picture.  

   In the end, it's hard to sum up a movie like MARS ATTACKS! with any firm conviction. Parts of it work, others don't. It's just too quirky to really pin down. Ultimately, though, the film is largely entertaining. How much one enjoys what's there, well, that's going to come down to each individual. MARS ATTACKS! can be an acquired taste, to be sure.   

Mars attacks!

Earth surrounded...

The Martians make their presence known to the world...

Professor Kessler is sure the Martians are peaceful...

Kessler and the President feel General Decker is worried over nothing...

The White House watches as the Martians attack...

The Martian spy...

The Martians invade Las Vegas...

Tom Jones and Barbara seek refuge...

President Dale and the Martian King...